Backtrack

Alright so I just got to admit some stuff. Last night after I posted the post being harshy mc harsherson about 54 year old Christian lady..I felt a little bad to be quite frank. I know I said I disagreed with her on most of it...but I just needed to clarify some stuff. Her first response..I disagreed with most of it. Her second response..I didn't disagree with mainly any of it. Yeah of course it would be "ideal" for every child to get those things, memories etc..but just because they wouldn't doesn't mean they are going to have the shittiest childhood ever. That is what was mainly the frustration to me. Her acting like the only way the kids would ever have a chance at a good childhood is if the parents were still together. Also, she said the only good reason for a couple to split is if the father is abusive..otherwise there is no other way it would be better off for them to be apart. What about if the kids are constantly observing fighting, arguing...lack of teamwork? Or if the Dad is never around anyways and the Mother is doing everything by herself anyways? Just because two people would stay together does not mean that it would be all fireworks and doughnuts. There are issues in relationships that sometimes are NOT okay for children to be around and observe. (I am not particularly meaning Cody and I because we keep our issues away from the kids to avoid such things, I am just saying in general.) I remember having this dilemma in my brain when I took a psychology class my freshman year in college. We were discussing family dynamics and how much divorce can effect children. I am not going to sit here and say that divorce doesn't effect children at all....because obviously it does...but believe it or not it can effect children in a positive manner sometimes too. Yes they have two households, and yes they have to go back and forth. But they can have two loving households, two households with a parent in each that does anything and everything for them to ensure they have a happy childhood filled with great memories. I think it really has all to do with the parents intentions on how they want to raise their children, how they want to handle the split, and not so much concentrating on specifically if the parents are together or not. As a parent I think it is important to set goals for how you want to raise your children and never space away from those in any given situation. I mean I have to admit that I can't honestly say she didn't have any effect on me on what she wrote..although I really do hate admitting that. I do now realize that I CAN try a bit harder. I can see where she would say that I am making a drastic move too soon, but in my head I guess I was just trying to protect Cody. If I didn't think it was going to work out long term why would I let him keep holding on to something that inevitably wasn't going to work out? Why put him through watching me struggle each day staying in the relationship? It just didn't seem fair to me. I don't know what the heck is going on my mind is all scattered. Danget 54 year old Christian lady..did to me exactly what she wanted to!!