You betta believe it!

It seems as if it is about that time. That time in which I use bullets. Now, I realize most of my blog posts are of random shit that doesn't really go. But not all the time do I whip out the bullets. The bullets make me feel better people. They really just do. It is almost like a reassurance that it is okay to be random as fuck and say whatever I want that doesn't flow together topic wise. And that'll do er.

*The people that live below me are top notch definition of absolutely ridiculous. I always bitched about the old lady that lived underneath me..and now that she doesn't live there and these dingbats do..I feel bad I ever even complained about her! Let me just elaborate on some of the things that have happened. First off, I live in the upper level of a house. They live downstairs. It is a guy (mid 30's?) and his daughter (13/14?) First off, when they first moved in I knew I was in for a real treat. Dude had his friends over allllllll the time. Majority of his friends had no teeth, drive vans, and just look all creeper status. (This is me not being judgement just saying). One evening I got home from work at 3a tired as hell...barely even aware of what was going on around me..I was walking to my door and the motion sensor light of the neighbors all of a sudden turned on and it was a dude with out his shirt on standing there with no teeth smiling as big as he possibly could and he said.."HI!" What the fuuuuuh. Don't worry dude, I won't nearly shit my pants because you are standing here with out a blouse at 3am smiling at me with no teeth being all creeper status. He constantly had people coming in and out in and out..being loud as fudge. We have a 2 car garage and I obv get one side he gets the other. Well when old lady lived there she parked right in the middle...cuz she was like 95 er somethin and didn't catch the concept of parking on one side. So they lowered my rent and we called it good since I couldn't use the garage. Once new neighbors came it was just kind of a given that I would get my spot back. Nope. Duder parked both his vehicals in the garage. Along with all his buddies parking in the entire driveway and on the street so sometimes I wouldn't even have a place to park when I would get home from work..ON THE ROAD. When old lady lived downstairs I still used the garage as storage. Well dude started piling all his shit on top of my shit....while using both spaces. Upon talking to the landlord he moved one vehical out..but still has all his shit stacked on mine. I thought maybe he just figured that was his side of the garage since he just took it over...so I moved my stuff to the other side of the garage. To find out he would just stack stuff on my stuff on that side too. WTF! One evening he was having quite the gathering. In the basement. My upstairs reeked like cigs which I was NOT happy about. I am a mild smoker..so it's not like I care about cig smoke..but I freaking care if my house smells of it..the house that my kids live in smells of it! I went down to the basement to find a table set up with cig butts everywhere...and they were using my plastic storage bins as chairs...they turned them upside down and they were all bent inwards. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not cool man. Talked to the landlord about that as well. So the trillions of humans coming in and out came to a stop. Now its just every once and awhile he has visitors but still..they are all whack jobs of the nation. Weird as hell. I mean I know I am weird..but this is a diff kind of weird. Anyways. The other night Cody, I and the kids were sitting around eating dinner at the table. I hear a ridiculous pounding at my door...like holy shit what the hell. So I run to the front door cuz I didn't know what was going on and it was the daughter. (Her name is Mary Jane btw just sayin). She gives me this snotty attitude.."ummm can I borrow a stick of butter?" For one..are you planning on fucking giving it back? Didn't think so. So I just said sure and ran upstairs got her a damn stick of butter (shit ain't cheap). She just grabs it doesn't say thanks or anything. What the hell! Next day, I was walking out to my car and dude comes out, walks up to me and asks for my WIFI internet password. He doesn't want to have to pay for internet so he was just wondering if he could use mine. WTF!?!?!??!?!?! Oh sure so then mine can go slower cuz you will be using it downstairs too. Oh my lanta I'd love to share my WIFI with you!!!!!!! NOT. Get a grip on reality dude cuz you are whack as shit man. I thought that was like...the last straw of the last straws. Nope. Last night....dude turned his house into a dance club. Must have brought his subwoofer from his car into his house. YAY! Cody and I tried watching a movie last night..couldn't even hear it. BOOM BOOM BA BOOM BOOM BA BA BA BOOM BOOM. What in the fuuuh. Shaking my floor man and vibrating my couch! ALL NIGHT LONG. This morning...STILL GOING. Round 12:30pm dude switches from rap to techno. OH HAIL NO. I called my landlord and she said it was the last complaint and he was getting his final eviction notice..but she was going to call me back in a half hour. She never freaking did! The ba ba boom boom ba boom boom shit is still going on! Cody was going crazy and he didn't want to go back to his place with the kids because it was pouring rain out. This guy seriously just is a dumbass!!! Has no common sense what so ever at all. If it is still going on when I get home at 3 this morning I am going to freak and go knock on his door. Which is what I wanted to do when it first started but damnit anyways!! I hate even being put in the position to have to do that stuff!!!!! Ugh so frustrating!!!!!!!

*A resident tonight told me that I have the smallest boobs he has ever seen. Saweeeeeeeeet! My boobs are pretty darn small. No doubt about that. I don't even wear a bra anymore dude. I haven't for probably 3 months now. I will if I need to in a shirt so that it isn't ridiculously obvious when I'm a bit "chilled". But other then that..forget it. No reason to. Any bra I wear is just dumb anyways cuz it doesn't fit right. So meh. Whateves. Yay for smallest boobs a dude has ever seen when he is in his 80's and has 80 years of looking at totties! woot woot! P.S. Maybe too much information but pre-kids I had my nips pierced and I had to take them out so that my kids could suck the life out of them..and I'm really considering getting them redone even tho it hurt like the dickins and took forever to heal. Just saying.

*So a couple days ago I was more constipated then I ever have been in my life I think.  My stomach was seriously rock hard and I looked like I was 15 weeks pregnant lol. Took me awhile to figure out why I was bloated as hell and feeling like death. Oooohh yeah I haven't pooped in freaking prit near 20 days. I had that issue a lot when I was pregnant and breastfeeding so lucky for me I had some Miralax in my cupboard of medicinal goodies. Obv opted to wait til Cody came over after work cuz whenever I take Miralax I get the farts like a madman and Cody loves every minute of it. I was so constipated that I didn't even get the farts. I. didn't. even. get. the. farts. Thought for sure I would wake up in the middle of the night feelin somethin or another but nope. Come morning time my stomach was a little gurgly and I felt somethin brewin but not really. Willy came over cuz he was watchin the kids when I went to work and he brought me a Caribou Coffee drink...with 3 extra shots of espresso. The last time I got ONE extra espresso shot in my caribou drink..I got the shits. So 3 extra shots of espresso! I was for SURE gonna take care of this constipation issue. Well...bad news guys. Caribou drink and Miralax decided to work at the same time, and let me tell you something. It felt like I lost 15 pounds no joke. Am I being gross right now? Are you disgusted reading this? #sorrybutnotsorryatall <-- I love when people hashtag this on instagram. Just saying.

*So, me and Rich (dude I work with) were just talking about relationships. He is in a relationship with a man right now, but was married to a woman for quite a number of years. I am bisexual as well, so we have very interesting conversations about the difference between being with same sex vs opposite sex. It is interesting to hear his point of view on things since we have completely different viewpoints being as we are of opposite gender. I don't really have particulars right this second, but I would like to elaborate more on this topic someday. I am feeling rushed because it is almost time to leave work and I hate leaving a blog half done because then I don't finish it for weeeeeeeks! So I guess I'll just leave it at this bullet and finish elaborating next time.

Well what in tarnation!

I am extremely bored at work this evening and thought it would be a rather swell idea to whip up a blog post. We have these dumb things called silverchair learning that we are required to do..(they are these dumb test things about work related dilly dallies) but I don't want to fucking do them. So I'm not going to. I've been on strike for over a monthish now. What gives? They are dumb as hell..and the only reason they require us to do them is so it looks good for state. So you are telling me I have to spend an hour taking multiple choice tests about common sense shit that you should probably know to be a human..so it looks good for state? Forget about it. Not my style.

For one I would just like to state that I have 1.3753 million pimples on my forehead right now. YES. JACKPOT. My birth control hates me. Like, for real hates me. I want to get on something that isn't hormone based like an IUD but upon research it just seems like it's kind of a 50/50 gamble. They either are freaking awesome for people, or royally suck anus and women have major complications. Well newsflash of the century my luck is -3743474 level..so I'm not too positive I want to chance it. No periods tho on them bad boys that is enough to make ya want to chance it nah mean?

Anyhoot hoots. I just have to say that just now there was an alarm going off on one of the residents. A usual resident that wakes up during the night to use the restroom. No big deal right? Well...jokes on me cuz this said resident decided to poop everywhere. Not a big deal, it's a usual thing I deal with on a daily basis. But let me just say this....if I had to choose between cleaning up major poop mess on a man or a woman..I would choose woman. One reason. Balls. That is all.

I don't understand why this said computer screen that I am currently looking at has to be approx 2 inches from my face. It is for real. It is a dino computer so it is prob 2 feet long in the back and takes up this whole damn table...so the keyboard is like..right at the end of the table and monitor right behind it meaning that it is right in my face. WABAM. I guess that will do er on that topic.

I am DYING to get more ink. It has been too long my friends. Too long. I have been trying to save but...yeah right. I am up to my ears in bills and just keeping up is the death of me. I am in the process of consilidating my student loans to ease that burden a tad...but I don't know. Cody wants to move back in together since my lease is up soon but what the h man??? I don't really want the reason to move back in together to be because it will be easier on me financially. NOT the reason I am looking for. Also, I love living separately? I tell him this often since he tells me often how much he hates living separately. What gives? I love having my own place and not having someone to "look after/pick up after" besides my kids. This topic needs  A LOT more thought. I mean... A LOT.

Okay so whenever I get forwards on my phone I think they are the dumbest shit of my life. I just don't find many things funny. Jokes, movies etc. I think other people are funny and some texts and what not in casual conversation. But not purposely posed funny things, nah mean? Anyway, got a forward today and it actually made me laugh out loud folks. Not fake, lol...we are talkin..real L.O. motha fuckin L. Fine I'll tell you it.
* A mother was cooking in the kitchen listening to her five year old son play with his new electric train set. She heard the train stop and her son say, "All of you sons of bitches who want off get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on get your asses on the train right now cuz we are goin down the mother fuckin tracks!" The absolutely horrified mother went in and told her son, "We do NOT use that kind of language in this house now go to your room for TWO HOURS. When you come out you may play with your train..but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the mother heard her son say, "All you passengers who are getting off please remember your things." He continued. "Those of you boarding we hope you will have a pleasant trip with us." The mother smiled to herself. The child then added, "Those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen!" <--- Bahahaha. For real LOL status right?

One of my favorite residents passed away last night while I was at work. But I'm not ready to talk about that yet. Maybe in a couple days or something.

There is an old guy right now sitting next to me in his wheelchair. He couldn't sleep. He is seriously cute as a button. He wanted some snacks and good thing I always bring a whole god damn grocery store with me to work cuz I love munchin on goodies. So first he ate a chocolate donut. Then he ate a swiss cake roll. He wanted more. So then I offered him sour gummy worms, which he had never heard of. I told him it would give him a little zip in his zinger and make his mouth water like the dickins. So of course, being as I gave him some serious convincing words to base this trial of sour gummy worms off of, he popped one in his mouth. His face...priceless! He said and I quote, "Now what in the hell was that!?" I think it is safe to say I really give these residents a run for their money sometimes. What would they do with out me here? They call me the patch adams of the place. I don't mind. Anyway, I'm gonna end this right here cuz old man river here wants to indulge in some wheelchair races.

oh...you know.

Since the last time I wrote, I have surprisingly have found many answers to many of the questions I have been having. I know it seems crazy, but this shit is for real!  It is almost like a ray of sunlight just beamed through to my life and I just feel so rejuvenated.

First off, 2 weeks ago I had breakfast with my dad. These breakfasts usually consist of us throwing ideas back and forth to each other about how we feel about life in general, our particular lives, or just random ass shit. After discussing with him some of the issues I've been having it was quite clear that I am spending way too much of my time dwelling on the past and spending way too much of my time trying to make decisions. He said that it is absolutely irrelevant to dwell on the past..because that is all it is, is the past. I disagreed to a degree because if you didn't dwell on things that happened in your past, how are you supposed to learn from your experiences? I mean technically 2 minutes ago was the past. Things happen in your life and sometimes you have to allow yourself time to reflect on them and gain from them everything you possibly can. BOOM, I'm okay with that. It would be impossible for me to go from dwelling major to dwelling not at all. So with that being said:

*Note to self: It is OKAY to dwell on things for the mere reason to benefit completely from the circumstances at hand. It is NOT okay to dwell if you are just battling with what you should or could have done to make things different. 

As far as the decision making thing? BAAAAA, save me. I have always been really indecisive. It is a rather annoying attribute of mine. At first it just seemed like an annoying girl thing, that I could never make up my mind. Then I thought that perhaps I just cared too much about what people thought so I was having troubles making up my mind because what other people would think was always in the back of my head. Now I just realize both of those are invalid and I take the littlest of decisions and biggest of decisions and try to envision the effect each will have in future time. LAME! All of the above are lame actually. Anyways, I need to take a step back from this and just kind of find the stem of it. Maybe I am so indecisive because I realize that any and every decision you make matters, and since I dwell so fucking much on the past, I just have a hard time deciding what I am going to be dwelling on in the future LOL. Kidding. Sort of. Fack. It's something I'm working on alright? It is just a little crazy to think that every decision you make impacts the rest of your days. You can't ever go back and change that decision. If you make the wrong one, it can be considered a mistake. But thereafter, if you make that same decision again it just becomes a choice. I think a lot of times I make decisions based on not what I feel is best for me, but what is easiest and less harming for others. Very frustrating.

^ That was all written a couple weeks ago er somethin. I dunno. I will write and then not finish and save it. Then take forever to come back on here and finish it. Ohhh the things I do I tell you! I think I might just babble right now. So, Axton was in his big boy underwear all weekend! It was a pretty successful weekend minus of course a few accidents here and there. When he wakes up in the morning he doesn't want anything to do with his underwear..he says NO I WANT DIAPER. Then I tell him big boys wear underwear and then of course he says how he's a big boy and wants underwear. He also doesn't think he can poop anywhere but in a diaper. So that has been fun. Anyway, enough of the potty training talk..I'm just saying that my little buddy is getting big and soon will be completely diaper free. YIPPEEEE! Two kids in diapers isn't exactly my....ideal situation. Zaidyn is so damn spunky I just can't believe it. That girl holy buckets. She just sprouts everyday, and I love every minute of it. She is really into lions right now and carries one around with her and roars constantly. If Axton starts playing with any of her 3 lions, she goes up to him and points in the other direction and yells GO!! Very sternly..which is seriously...way too damn cute. She looooves to give hugs and will just walk up to me grab my leg and say Momma and hug my leg. So cute! Tell her to dance, and she dances, tell her to sing and she babbles, tell her its time to change her diaper and she runs to her room and stands by the changing table, tell her it's time to eat and she stands next to her high chair. Just way too damn cute that girl!!!!!!!!!!! She will literally come up to me and say Momma Ni night when she is ready for a nap. I just can't believe how fast time has gone by...my kids are getting so big what the heck!!!!!!!!!!

On that note, my life is just so crazy busy. I feel like I don't even have time to stinking balance my checkbook, or check my mail pile that gets bigger by the day. I need to sweep and mop my kitchen but how the suzanna am I supposed to do that with 2 hooligans running around all the time? Seriously!!! Kids are so much work!!!! Not that any of you don't know that because I'm pretty positive majority of people that read my blog are mothers. Regardless, I'm just saying. That is why I could never do a daycare as a job. Props to my sis because I just could not do it. I can take care of my own kids..babysit once and awhile..but to do that for a job..nooooo way. That takes some serious patience, physical energy, and emotional energy. Holy buckets. Anyway, I'm gonna buzz outta this joint :)