It seems to be that since I just blogged a couple nights ago, I feel like I have nothing to say? My life really is not that exciting, I'm telling you. Today I brought a frozen juice concentrate to work and made a pitcher once I got here. That way I would be forced to finish the entire thing before I left..leaving myself fully hydrated! Holy shit, what news! I also pooped for the first time in 5 days, yay for pooping finally! I'm working with Rich tonight, (one of my fav dudes, perhaps I'll elaborate about him in this blog) and he wanted to accomplish a task that requires 2 people..just as I felt the need to poop. So OBV I said hell no I am not passing up this opportunity you will just have to hold your horses on that one. Aaaaanyway I think I'm going to buy a pair of shoes online. Never done it before. BUT, daaang G there is this particular pair that I have been looking for EVERYWHERE and I can't stinking find it. Duty calls bro, time to step it up and buy online. Not that I have a problem buying stuff online cuz I personally love it..I just am hesitant with shoes cuz how the h am I supposed to know if they fit or not? I'll have to let you know if I end up buying them or not. I am obsessed with Etsy. Holy tolida begita. I mean come on, they have everything! I am finally at 0 gauge for my ears, so now that I hit my final destination I can buy earrings! I didn't want to indulge in buying really cool earrings until I was at my spot, cuz obv that would be a waste of money. Now I'm here, now I can purchase earrings. When my ears were gauged before all the jewelry I bought/found were expensive as h. Etsy has very very reasonably priced jewelry..the problem? I can't ever freaking choose? There are just SO much that I want to buy from etsy right now that I have listed in my "favorites". When I have extra cash (never) then I can splurge on somethin. I just bought two new pairs and have yet to get them in the mail. One was only 8 bucks and the other was 16 but I had a 10% off promo code so eh, whateves. Okay for real my back hurts worse then ever in my life. I can hardly take it. Every morning I wake up and practically want to cry myself back to sleep. I think it is a combination of sleeping really whacky..and rolling really large people that weigh 5 times as much as me?? Yeah prob both. Either way, I have been sleepin on my couch the last couple nights and it actually seems to be working. I think because then I can't sleep messed up cuz there is no room to sleep messed up. Last night I did not sleep on my couch and today I'm dying from back pain. At 24 years old? NOT OKAY! When I'm 50 I'll be hunched over like a C. Not okay! The facility I work at is old as dirt and they have old school crank beds..not automatic. So basically, you can break your back rolling residents to change them, or you can break your back bending over and cranking a lever for 10 minutes to raise the bed and then doing the same once you are done to get the bed back down. NOT OKAY! We are in the process of building a new facility that should be done next summer. I am looking forward to it. My luck, they will move all these stupid ass beds right on over to that facility. You know, this place irritates me sometimes in their lack of organization etc etc I could go on. BUT, something I love about this facility is that they let people be themselves. They don't make me take out my piercings or cover up my tattoos like every other facility would. It is something that really gets to me and really makes my blood boil. Ohh let me cover up my tattoos, now look....I am so much better of a worker and care so much more about the residents!! Or how bout just people in general that judge humans with piercings and tattoos. Cuz it makes me any different as a person if I had them or if I didn't, right? I know once I get my nursing degree that I'll have a hell of a time finding a job in a hospital (I know I'll just have to cover them up but still). It's really unfortunate. Close minded people are really hard to understand or wrap my head around. Then again, I realize they feel the same about me. I think I'm going to close on that topic :/
Nighty night!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Ah, Fack!
Duuuuude, I can't believe it has been since May 24th since the last time I blogged! What the h is wrong with me!? In all reality, I usually just have so much to say that I don't even know where to begin so then I just don't. Mega-fail. Should I just do the good ole bullet approach? Dumb question, obv I should!
*First off, my kids are doing great! Zaidyn just turned 1 year old and I am in disbelief! She is such a spitfire and so full of character. I love watching her personality develop and oh boy is she on the move!! Axton is talkin like none other and it just melts my heart, every bit of it!!
*Cody and I are doing much better now that we live separately. I think the space was necessary and there are many many improvements being made because of the ability to just take a look at the relationship from the outside and see exactly what we need to fix. Instead of increasing the tension daily, we are able to get the time apart, and look forward to the little bit of time we actually do get to spend together. I am also being made aware how often he did the dishes for me, lol! I feel like I am constantly doing dishes it is sickening. I don't have a dishwasher and it's just such a pain in the ass. NOT an enjoyable task at hand let me tell you.
*Work is work. I really love that I get 4 days off a week, but daaaaaaang g, the no sleep business is REALLY catching up to me. I swear for two weeks straight I was doing just the bare minimum that was required of me. Take care of my kids, work. No energy to do ANYTHING. I think even if I slept for 2 weeks straight I still wouldn't be caught up. On the weekends I work, Cody has the kids so I am able to sleep in..but of course I can't because I just want to spend some time with my kids before I go to work! I am picking up shifts whenever I can so I can have some extra money to do things for myself..such as...making a dent in the "to do" tattoo list. I just got my outline of Axton's but it will probably be awhile til I can get it colored in. I gotta save up for a couple months. Booo, I hate waiting!! I have picked up a rather a lot of shifts in the next couple weeks so we'll see what happens.
*It seems to me that I have very little patience for people these days. No joke. Just everyone getting on my freaking nerves! Saying stupid shit, just acting stupid. Get your shit together people. Especially at work. I can't STAND working with someone who doesn't know what the hell they are doing. If you don't know what you are doing when you have worked here for a couple weeks, you obviously aren't going to get it at all..so do me a favor and leave. Is that mean? I mean I don't mind being the one to initiate everything and be the one "in charge"..but I certainly don't like bossing people around or having to tell people how to do their job. Not okay! Okay I'm done whining about that.
*It seems I have taken a break in my "self discovery" mode. I am enjoying just having a stress free sort of life right now..for the most part. I need to get my poop in a group and figure out the steps I need to take to finish school. I really don't have that much left, and my student loans are kicking my ass..so I might as well have a degree so it makes it worth it. I have been on the waitlist for quite some time now at the school I was planning on finishing my degree up at. But apparently I have 2 classes that I need to finish in order to start in the Spring, otherwise I am then taken off the waitlist. It would have been way too convenient if they would have informed me of such things..you know..in the last 2 and a half years I have been out of school. Instead they wait to send me a letter telling me this right before I would have to register for classes/almost when it's too late to register for fall classes. The two courses I need to take are Advanced Anatomy and Physiology and Microbiology. Two classes I am super interested in. Also, two classes that are hard as fuck. They both come with labs so really the two classes seem like 4 as far as tests and homework is concerned. Also, since it would only be 2 classes, I wouldn't receive financial aid for the courses and I would have to pay out of pocket..not even possible!! I am living on one income paying all the bills and such which is tricky in itself. So I'd still have to manage working full time while taking these two hard as fuck courses. Not to mention I took Anatomy and Physiology when I was a freshman in college. How in the universe am I going to just jump right on in to Advanced A&P? Unrealistic! I'd prefer to actually re take A&P before taking the advanced course. I know the class is a lot of work but it would be worth it to gain back all the knowledge that is essentially extremely important anyways, and would benefit me for when I take advanced. Not possible to do all this business prior to spring semester this year. I guess I'm just fucked. What is new. I sometimes just wanna give up seriously. I mean..with as much as I pay in student loans a month, the amount of money extra I would make by having a nursing degree and being a nurse would be fucking pointless. STUFFTHEYDON'TTELLYOUABOUTCOLLEGE101. I guess if you have rich ass parents that pay your way through school that is one thing. It is sooo hard thinking about going back to school but when I whip out 460 a month in student loans..I NEED to get my degree. Just hard with 2 little kids and a busy life in the first place....nah mean?
*I have been extremely disappointed in the friend department these days. Literally not one single one of my friends showed up to Zaidyns birthday party. Friends around here that is let me state, obv. But seriously! One of my friends even said that she couldn't wait to see me and the kids Saturday at the party..and never showed. Another said she was barfing and couldn't come..but posted a pic of herself on facebook that afternoon lookin all fancy? COME ON. I mean, I can understand where people my age who don't have kids would not enjoy attending a 1 year olds birthday party...but REALLY?! Just fucking deal with the 2 hours of birthday party-ness due to the mere fact that it is my daughter! GOL! I'm just so over it, and so over trying to maintain friendships that essentially obviously mean nothing. I really really don't have many friends at all, and even less actual REAL friends that I know actually care about our friendship. It's just such a joke really. My brother didn't even show up for Zaidyn's birthday party. REALLY DUDE?! I can't handle it. Maybe he had a valid reason for not coming, but why don't you shoot me a text or something and let me know instead of just not showing up and then ignoring the fact that you didn't show up to your neices birthday party? Again, like I stated before, people lately are REALLY irritating me. I just don't have the time and energy for it. Oh you wanna talk to me this week even though you haven't talked to me in months? Um fuck you. Oh, you are interested in maintaining a friendship, and then you aren't, and then you are, and then you aren't? Fuck off. Wow, I think I get a little hostile late at night hahaha. I'm over it.
*Ummm, I wish I could go shopping? I have my obsession with clothes back :/ Before I had kids I was literally obsessed with clothes and spent majority of any money I made on clothes. (Emily, do you remember my 2 full closets that you couldn't believe?) Then I had kids and was chunky as hell and feelin all ugly n shit so I didn't really care about what clothing was covering up my bod. But now that I've lost all that weight and can rock pretty much any kind of clothing..I want to oh so badly but need the materials to! I want really cute dresses and shoes, and accessories. I have some new clothes that I have bought or Cody has bought for me that fit me, but I still have majority of clothes that are way too big. First world problems.
*I think I am done for now. I swear I will try to be better at this, and I also know I say this all the time. But dude, why don't some of you remind me to freaking blog if it's been a while, nah mean?
*First off, my kids are doing great! Zaidyn just turned 1 year old and I am in disbelief! She is such a spitfire and so full of character. I love watching her personality develop and oh boy is she on the move!! Axton is talkin like none other and it just melts my heart, every bit of it!!
*Cody and I are doing much better now that we live separately. I think the space was necessary and there are many many improvements being made because of the ability to just take a look at the relationship from the outside and see exactly what we need to fix. Instead of increasing the tension daily, we are able to get the time apart, and look forward to the little bit of time we actually do get to spend together. I am also being made aware how often he did the dishes for me, lol! I feel like I am constantly doing dishes it is sickening. I don't have a dishwasher and it's just such a pain in the ass. NOT an enjoyable task at hand let me tell you.
*Work is work. I really love that I get 4 days off a week, but daaaaaaang g, the no sleep business is REALLY catching up to me. I swear for two weeks straight I was doing just the bare minimum that was required of me. Take care of my kids, work. No energy to do ANYTHING. I think even if I slept for 2 weeks straight I still wouldn't be caught up. On the weekends I work, Cody has the kids so I am able to sleep in..but of course I can't because I just want to spend some time with my kids before I go to work! I am picking up shifts whenever I can so I can have some extra money to do things for myself..such as...making a dent in the "to do" tattoo list. I just got my outline of Axton's but it will probably be awhile til I can get it colored in. I gotta save up for a couple months. Booo, I hate waiting!! I have picked up a rather a lot of shifts in the next couple weeks so we'll see what happens.
*It seems to me that I have very little patience for people these days. No joke. Just everyone getting on my freaking nerves! Saying stupid shit, just acting stupid. Get your shit together people. Especially at work. I can't STAND working with someone who doesn't know what the hell they are doing. If you don't know what you are doing when you have worked here for a couple weeks, you obviously aren't going to get it at all..so do me a favor and leave. Is that mean? I mean I don't mind being the one to initiate everything and be the one "in charge"..but I certainly don't like bossing people around or having to tell people how to do their job. Not okay! Okay I'm done whining about that.
*It seems I have taken a break in my "self discovery" mode. I am enjoying just having a stress free sort of life right now..for the most part. I need to get my poop in a group and figure out the steps I need to take to finish school. I really don't have that much left, and my student loans are kicking my ass..so I might as well have a degree so it makes it worth it. I have been on the waitlist for quite some time now at the school I was planning on finishing my degree up at. But apparently I have 2 classes that I need to finish in order to start in the Spring, otherwise I am then taken off the waitlist. It would have been way too convenient if they would have informed me of such things..you know..in the last 2 and a half years I have been out of school. Instead they wait to send me a letter telling me this right before I would have to register for classes/almost when it's too late to register for fall classes. The two courses I need to take are Advanced Anatomy and Physiology and Microbiology. Two classes I am super interested in. Also, two classes that are hard as fuck. They both come with labs so really the two classes seem like 4 as far as tests and homework is concerned. Also, since it would only be 2 classes, I wouldn't receive financial aid for the courses and I would have to pay out of pocket..not even possible!! I am living on one income paying all the bills and such which is tricky in itself. So I'd still have to manage working full time while taking these two hard as fuck courses. Not to mention I took Anatomy and Physiology when I was a freshman in college. How in the universe am I going to just jump right on in to Advanced A&P? Unrealistic! I'd prefer to actually re take A&P before taking the advanced course. I know the class is a lot of work but it would be worth it to gain back all the knowledge that is essentially extremely important anyways, and would benefit me for when I take advanced. Not possible to do all this business prior to spring semester this year. I guess I'm just fucked. What is new. I sometimes just wanna give up seriously. I mean..with as much as I pay in student loans a month, the amount of money extra I would make by having a nursing degree and being a nurse would be fucking pointless. STUFFTHEYDON'TTELLYOUABOUTCOLLEGE101. I guess if you have rich ass parents that pay your way through school that is one thing. It is sooo hard thinking about going back to school but when I whip out 460 a month in student loans..I NEED to get my degree. Just hard with 2 little kids and a busy life in the first place....nah mean?
*I have been extremely disappointed in the friend department these days. Literally not one single one of my friends showed up to Zaidyns birthday party. Friends around here that is let me state, obv. But seriously! One of my friends even said that she couldn't wait to see me and the kids Saturday at the party..and never showed. Another said she was barfing and couldn't come..but posted a pic of herself on facebook that afternoon lookin all fancy? COME ON. I mean, I can understand where people my age who don't have kids would not enjoy attending a 1 year olds birthday party...but REALLY?! Just fucking deal with the 2 hours of birthday party-ness due to the mere fact that it is my daughter! GOL! I'm just so over it, and so over trying to maintain friendships that essentially obviously mean nothing. I really really don't have many friends at all, and even less actual REAL friends that I know actually care about our friendship. It's just such a joke really. My brother didn't even show up for Zaidyn's birthday party. REALLY DUDE?! I can't handle it. Maybe he had a valid reason for not coming, but why don't you shoot me a text or something and let me know instead of just not showing up and then ignoring the fact that you didn't show up to your neices birthday party? Again, like I stated before, people lately are REALLY irritating me. I just don't have the time and energy for it. Oh you wanna talk to me this week even though you haven't talked to me in months? Um fuck you. Oh, you are interested in maintaining a friendship, and then you aren't, and then you are, and then you aren't? Fuck off. Wow, I think I get a little hostile late at night hahaha. I'm over it.
*Ummm, I wish I could go shopping? I have my obsession with clothes back :/ Before I had kids I was literally obsessed with clothes and spent majority of any money I made on clothes. (Emily, do you remember my 2 full closets that you couldn't believe?) Then I had kids and was chunky as hell and feelin all ugly n shit so I didn't really care about what clothing was covering up my bod. But now that I've lost all that weight and can rock pretty much any kind of clothing..I want to oh so badly but need the materials to! I want really cute dresses and shoes, and accessories. I have some new clothes that I have bought or Cody has bought for me that fit me, but I still have majority of clothes that are way too big. First world problems.
*I think I am done for now. I swear I will try to be better at this, and I also know I say this all the time. But dude, why don't some of you remind me to freaking blog if it's been a while, nah mean?
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