Holy Guacamole

I just realized today that I have not blogged in quite some time. Almost a month! This is ridiculous! What has been going on in the life of Caitloin Steak? Let me think...not much! The last two weeks I have been on a massive exercise kick. Let me define massive.... I am 23 years old and I hate to exercise. My freshman year in college I gained some weight so I went on a exercise bender for a month or so and lost the extra lbs. That is the extent of my exercising. After I had Axton it was the middle of winter so I didn't do much to try to lose the baby weight. In fact I did nothing. I was not pleased with my bod thats for sure..but I knew Cody and I were going to be trying for another baybay so it would be dumb to lose the weight just to gain it right back. Since we are not having another baby for a looooooooong time if ever..I have kicked it in high gear and I am ready to get back to the way I was before I was ever pregnant. (Minus the wide hips that won't go away..which I'm actually not bothered by my new curvaciousness) Each morning after Axton is awake and has breakfast and after Zaidyn eats we go for a nice loooooong walk. Honestly pushing the double stroller with Axton and Zaidyn in the car seat is rough stuff. My first time out I got like 2 blocks and I was like what the h? TURN AROUND! We walk for a good hour and a half now. Zaidyn sleeps through the whole thing and Axton just loves pointing to things and having me tell him what it is, which is super fun. Walking first thing in the morning has given me a lot more energy through out the day! Once I get home if the kiddos allow I do little work outs to help my oh so desperate stomach region. I have been trying to eat a lot better, but I have such a stinking sweet tooth. Besides the NEED to have something sweet after dinner, I have been doing surprising really well. So with the exercise, slightly watching what I am eating, and breastfeeding...the weight is coming off quite nicely and it's only been 2 weeks. Beginning of this I took a picture which I SO am not going to share until I have a fan-tas-tic after picture. I had a pair of jean capris that I aimed for my first goal of fitting into since I was wearing them right before I found out I was pregnant with Zaidyn. 2 weeks ago I couldn't get them buttoned and today I am wearing them :) It feels good to be getting results! I have NO motivation what so ever when it comes to exercising but I am SO ready to not be ashamed of my body anymore. Stretch marks will never go away but I'm over it. I just want to feel good about myself again. I'm not doing a lot, but the little that I am seems to be working so I am going to try my best to keep it up.

Thursday is mine and Cody's anniversary. He took the day off work so I am very excited to be able to spend some time with him. The last time he had a day off was when he was off work the couple days after Zaidyn was born. I don't even know what it's like hanging out with him anymore!!!!!!!! I miss my Cody!!!!!!!!! I think soon here he will be going down to just one job. He works his second job for his extra money to either spend on whatever or to save. He has been saving and just bought a fishing boat last week. Hopefully this weekend we can take it out if my sister is able to watch the kids for a couple hours!

Things are going great with the kids! Axton is learning new words everyday, I just LOVE it. It's one thing to know that they comprehend what you are saying..but for him to actually start saying words is just awesome. Zaidyn is getting so big! I can't believe how fast they grow honestly. Breastfeeding is going wonderfully. I had to take a break on pumping because my freezer has no more room for milk since I am home all the time and don't ever need to use it. The children are sleeping currently, which is why I am actually blogging. When they are sleeping at the same time I don't even know what to do with myself. It's been about an hour and a half and I am going crazy. I took a shower, cleaned up a bit..now I'm blogging. I HATE being away from my kids, even their nap times drive me nutso. I get that I should want a break from being "mom" sometimes but quite frankly I would just rather be with them then doing anything else. I am rather scared about when I start work again, whenever that will be. Couple weeks? Two months? Not sure, but either way I am terrified.

I will post again after this weekend to HOPEFULLY share with you events from my day with Cody thursday, and this weekend where he has 2 days off!

Too Cute

I came across this picture online and thought it was rather cute. Don't you think so? I just imagined the owners of these dogs walking into the room and seeing this. Such a random moment creating such a funny/good feeling inside. Life obviously isn't all fireworks and rainbows. However, it's the random moments like these that come along and bring a smile to your face. I am happy to say that I have many of these moments every day with my children. I'm sure if you are a parent you know exactly what I mean. Sure, my life is completely different then it used to be..and sure I don't have nearly as many people in my life as I used to. Going from having tons of friends to not very many at all used to affect me in a way that was very hard to deal with. As time has gone on, I have realized that the people that no longer talk to me, care to know what is going on in my life or how I am doing..are the people that never cared to begin with. I'm not going to apologize for getting pregnant and having everything change because it was the best thing that ever happened to me.. even if it did come along with a losing relationships that I thought meant something. At the end of the day, I count my blessings. The other night while Cody and I were laying in bed, we had a 20 minute conversation about how much we love our children. At that moment in time, just thinking about the unconditional love that I have for my children and family made me feel so fulfilled. I can honestly say that my heart has never ever...EVER...been so overfilling with love and happiness. I have everything that I need.

Woot Woot

It has been awhile since I have written, but I really don't have anything rad to say to be quite frank. Life is going great! Zaidyn is going to be a month old already tomorrow which is just so hard to believe! Time is flying by! Since it has been a month, it is safe to say that I am now comfortably adjusted to life with 2 kids. Zaidyn enjoys being held ALL. THE. TIME. which makes some things a bit tricky. She wasn't like that at first but in the last week it just seems that if she is awake then she wants to be held and/or eating. I would really enjoy finding some time to actually manage taking a shower??? Zaidyn sleeps so long at night that during the day she takes cat naps..20 minutes at absolute most. When Axton goes down for a nap and she is sleeping I know I have a short limited amount of time to get something worthy accomplished. It seems as if lately I've had to choose between a shower or some sort of cleaning task. I've opted for the cleaning task because when my place is messy it drives me nuts. A lot more nuts then me not taking a shower. Today, for instance, I have chosen to write a blog instead of shower. But I may still try to fit a shower in. I'm desperate for one! I think it is about time to write a post and spill my guts about some feelings deep inside in a jar with the lid nicely and tightly closed. Not today of course..but relatively soon. I find my mind so jumbled these days anyways that it is kinda hard to sort my even on the surface feelings out let alone the real deep ones. Getting them out in writing seems to help figure them out so I'm looking forward to that free time to be able to do so. All in all, life is so good, and I am really happy with how things are going right now!