Who needs it anyways?

When I ask..."who needs it anyways" I am referring to sleep. The amount of sleep..or lack there of lately, is just getting unbearable. I know I know that once she comes I will be shorted sleeping time as well..but at least in the time that I CAN sleep..I will. Right now I'm just not sleeping AT ALL. I am so exhausted mentally and physically. I can't think straight to save my stinkin life! The other night I was literally WIDE awake from 1am to 6am. I couldn't even just lay there and try to sleep. Impossible. My braxton hicks are so intense that laying in bed just hurts because its like my stomach is stinkin concrete every 5 minutes. Last night was a little better because I was actually able to fall asleep...but I was up every hour to take a whiz. EVERY HOUR. For some reason after Cody leaves for work in the morning is when I can get some serious sleep in. Meaning...for 2 hours straight with out waking up. Then of course I get woken up from my "deep sleep" with a little guy making something like dinosaur noises? Regardless of how tired I am in the morning and how much I do not want to get out of bed..I still love seeing my little guy first thing in the morning. He's just so stinkin cute I tell ya. Anyhow, my next doctors appointment is tomorrow and it will be a week and a day since my last cervical check. I am HOPING, PRAYING, PLEADING that I have made some progress. Any progress. Even 1cms worth of progress. It gives me hope. Even if it really, in all reality, means nothing.

PUPPP SHMUPPP

I just wanted to say, in case anyone was unaware, that I am SO ready to get this baby out of me! The PUPPPS rash has returned and I am livid. It is so highly unlikely to even get it your first pregnancy..and the odds are non existent for getting it your second. Not to mention, it usually occurs when you are having a boy. I have defied all odds here people. My doctor said it is literally crazy to him that I have gotten it once again. I think with Axton I got it at 32 weeks...so I am thankful that I started getting it at 36 weeks this time around. It is just on my stomach for now..but I am dreading..and I mean DREADING it to spread any further on my body. By the time Axton was born it was from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. It was TERRIBLE. When I went to the doctor on Monday I told him I didn't need the steroid cream quite yet just because putting regular lotion on it when it got super itchy was working well enough. Two days later I regret what I said. During the day it isn't so bad. Once and awhile it will start itching like crazy and I feel like I could just bust out of my skin from the intense urge to itch it like crazy. At night it is the worst, only because I can't really control myself. It will start itching while I'm sleeping..and I'll start itching it half sleeping and not realize that I'm doing it. Once you start itching..it really is quite impossible to stop, literally. When I'm going crazy itching it..it feels SOOOOOOO good..and the second I stop it is just an overwhelming hot burning crazy ass itching feeling that is unbearable...so I start itching again and it goes away and I am feeling bliss. The problem with this is that itching it is what causes it to spread. Having it contained on my belly is enough problem in itself. I do not need it on my arms and legs and feet and back again. NO I DO NOT. I called my doctor this morning and said Just kidding I would like the steroid cream! The problem with the steroid cream vs regular lotion is that you have to use very sparingly because the steroids soak into the skin and are absorbed..therefore baby can be exposed to it as well. I just want it for nighttime so I don't make it much much worse unknowingly. Friday will mark me full term and then she better come out ASAP before this rash gets out of control! I know that I can't decide that...but it would be mighty swell if she would do that for me. Cervical check on Monday showed 1cm dilated, 25% effaced and fully softened so lets get this stinkin show on the road eh?

Peep and Low

So just a couple things here.

For one, I just realized today walking down to the first level of the apartment building to do laundry that some of the doors have peep holes and some do not. Our door does not have a peep hole and I always wondered why. Now I am even more questioning this lack of peep hole because some people in this building have that luxury! I usually know exactly who is coming over and when....but every once and awhile that doorbell will ring and I won't have aaaaaaany idea who it is. It would be nice at that exact moment in time to be one of the cool tenants of this building and have a peep hole.

For two, as I was saying I was heading downstairs to do some laundry. Last week I did a mother load amount of laundry because I kept putting it off. HATE doing laundry. This morning before Cody went to work he says..babe I'm out of socks. First off, I don't do "whites" often because if I have to pay a dollar to wash and a dollar to dry, you bet your butt it's going to be a full load. Therefore...we have a separate basket for whites and I don't do them until its full. Or when Cody says he is out of socks. You would THINK that yesterday when he grabbed his last pair in the drawer he would tell me at that point so he would have a pair of socks for today..but that is a big fat negatronathon on that. I really didn't feel like doing laundry today and especially a load of whites because folding socks is just the pits. But as I was putting the laundry in and thinking about how I really didn't want to fold all the socks later... I reassured myself that folding all the socks later was much better then having to wear a pair of dirty nasty socks dug out of the hamper like Cody did. Anyways, I got a little off of topic. My second point in this blog was to actually say that lately every time I go do laundry the temperature setting is on "low". This drives me nuts. Seriously EVERY time. Now who the heck needs to dry their laundry on low every time? I have made the mistake a couple of times of not double checking the temp and then going down an hour later and have my clothes half dry and have to spend another dollar. What a jip! I think someone does it for jokes. Or someone that works for the people we rent from go to all the buildings everyday and resets the temp settings so they can make more money. Either way, dumb!!!!

Squeezin for time

The last couple days I have had the worst mood swings known to mankind. Poor Cody. I'm just a glooming dark cloud over his head I bet. At least I can admit it! I've been so terrible. Anything and everything I just get mad at Cody for...I forgot to push start on the dishwasher-cody's fault. I have a super stuffy nose and can't find a box of kleenex anywhere - cody's fault. Axton pooped 5 times in one day -Cody's fault. Cody gives me his opinion about something or his thoughts- I shut them down in .2 seconds. I'm such a horrible fiance! I've just been rather stressed this past week. My deadline for getting everything done for baby Zaidyn is Friday...and that is coming up rather shortly. I just have a lot of organizing left to do with limited space to do it. I don't have a dresser for her so its been kind of tricky figuring out where to put clothes that don't hang up. I am not nesting what so ever and very much doubt that I will get another burst of energy to "nest". I wish a couple months ago when I got bursts of "nesting" I would have gotten more accomplished. I've been sick, which has also made my energy level even lower then usual. The last couple days I've been getting the regular Braxton hicks, and yesterday was pretty crampy as well. I know every pregnancy is different but with Axton I didn't get the regular Braxton hicks until a day or two before he was born...but that was after I knew I was already dilated to 2ish, and also had lost my mucous plug. At my last appointment he didn't do a cervical check..and this week he is out on vacation (yikes!) but I do have an appointment on Monday where he is going to check me. Who knows, I could be totally off on my "instincts" and she could stay in there cooking for another 4 weeks for all I know. What I do know is that I would really like to have everything done so I don't have to worry about it. Here is my list of things to do prior to friday (so I like to think):

-Finish organizing her clothes

-Clean her room top to bottom

-Finish her crib mobile. Soooo almost done just need to adjust a little something something and hang it.

-Pack hospital bag

-Pack Axton's bag for when I go into labor and he goes to grandmas.

-Clean the apartment top to bottom so I don't have to worry about it later.

-Get last couple things on the list needed at Target/Walmart for baby Zaidyn

-Go through tote of things for baby such as bottles etc..and do rearranging in kitchen to make room in a cupboard for her stuff.

-Fill out and send out thank you cards for baby shower stuff so I don't have to do that once she comes considering then I will have double duty with announcements and such.

Yuck the list is longer then I thought. I need my sister to come over and help me w/ organizing and such. I hate doing it and she likes organizing other peoples stuff.

Bad Math

9 months pregnant lady + not fun diet + extremely high hormone levels + lower back and hips that pop in and out of place constantly + kid with really messy diapers today + really sore throat where it hurts to talk and swallow + a cough that makes my throat feel even worse + a fiance that thinks it is a good idea to have his brother and girlfriend over tonight which is enough to put me over the edge = really...REALLY unhappy lady.

Somebody, please save me.

Two Years Today

Two years ago today, two significant things happened. One was more significant then the other but still both pretty significant.

1. I found out I was pregnant with Axton

2. I kicked my habit of smokin cigs.

How crazy to think that two years ago I was literally shitting my pants at the thought that I was growing a little human inside me, when I didn't even know if I wanted kids!! I was freaking out about how I was going to tell my mom, and I was freaking out about what the heck I was going to do about my internship I just got accepted to take at a hospital in downtown Milwaukee in Radiology. Sooo many decisions had to be made in such a short period of time. On top of the massive amount of stress, I had to kick my habit of smoking. I didn't smoke A LOT..but probably a pack every 3 days? Maybe? I don't recall. Either way, it was a bad time to quit the one thing that relieved stress. Either way, I did it...its been two years and I haven't even had one single pufferoo. I think if Cody ever saw a cig to my mouth anyways, he would be absolutely disgusted and would never want to see me again. This made it very easy to not start smoking again after Axton was born. Speaking of which, last night I had a dream that Cody was smokin cigs behind my back. Quite bizarre because he is absolutely in every way disgusted by cigarettes and would NEVER and I mean NEVER smoke. Regardless..just thought I would share what was going on in my life two years ago today. I think I will probably always remember June 10th.

Updateroozki

Yesterday I had my ultrasound and today I had my follow up doctors appointment. Everything went really well! I loooved seeing her on the screen although it was a bit tricky because at this point in a pregnancy you can't really fit much of the baby on the screen so it was tid bits of her at a time. We did get a really good look at her face and she even stuck her tongue out at us which was SO cute! She definitely has chunky cheeks! So cute! Anyways, I was really curious her size since the doctor said she would probably be putting weight on faster then normal due to the high sugar levels she is exposed to. At my appointment this morning Dr. Sorenson informed me that she is currrently estimated to be 6 and a half pounds already. WHAAAAAAAAAAT! Obviously that is give or take because it can't be EXACT through an ultrasound but still. I could potentially have 5ish weeks left! She would be HUGE! Doctor thinks most likely I will go early, and he wouldn't stop labor if it happened anytime after 36 weeks. That is in a week and 2 days. I'm not saying I am going to go into labor at exactly 36 weeks because I doubt that...I'm just saying that if I DID...nothing would stop her arrival and that is in a week and a half!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would prefer her to wait until 37 weeks, that gives me a little more time. Maybe she will be born on my Mom's birthday, wouldn't that be fun? Great birthday present, a granddaughter! My placenta is welllllll away from my cervix so that isn't an issue at all anymore. Which is relieving. Doc and I went over my documentation of my blood sugar levels etc and instead of testing 6 times a day he said I only have to check 3 times a day. Or 4? Jeesh now I can't remember and that is kind of important. Dang prego brain! My next appointment is a week from Monday. He is going on vacation next week so he wants to see me right when he gets back. Sounds good to me. Also, while I was in the waiting room at the clinic, I was gandering outside and all of a sudden an old man is going down the middle of the the road (main street mind you) on a riding lawn mower with his oxygen tank attached to the back along with a sign that says "gittn r done". I literally almost shit myself. If that doesn't make one feel like they really do live in the middle of bumfuck wheatfieldville, I don't know what would. I finally got Cody to paint my toenails last night. It look A LOT of convincing for a couple weeks at least. I couldn't take it anymore, and he finally gave in. It was just the cutest thing. He was being so precise and trying to do such a good job. A) I have like NO nailpolish choices and every single one I do is so old. Therefore, the polish was like..clingy weird stringy like. B) Cody didn't realize that he was working with the worst possible polish. C) When I would give him tips on how to do it, he would reply saying that he knows what he is doing because he touches up cars at work all the time. SO the same thing, right? Anyways, the end result was mediocre. My right foot looks pretty okay, my left foot looks like shit! Nail polish all round the nail and ugh, just terrible! I told him he did a GREAT job though of course! He is so sweet!!!! Just love him to pieces I tell you!