You betta believe it!

It seems as if it is about that time. That time in which I use bullets. Now, I realize most of my blog posts are of random shit that doesn't really go. But not all the time do I whip out the bullets. The bullets make me feel better people. They really just do. It is almost like a reassurance that it is okay to be random as fuck and say whatever I want that doesn't flow together topic wise. And that'll do er.

*The people that live below me are top notch definition of absolutely ridiculous. I always bitched about the old lady that lived underneath me..and now that she doesn't live there and these dingbats do..I feel bad I ever even complained about her! Let me just elaborate on some of the things that have happened. First off, I live in the upper level of a house. They live downstairs. It is a guy (mid 30's?) and his daughter (13/14?) First off, when they first moved in I knew I was in for a real treat. Dude had his friends over allllllll the time. Majority of his friends had no teeth, drive vans, and just look all creeper status. (This is me not being judgement just saying). One evening I got home from work at 3a tired as hell...barely even aware of what was going on around me..I was walking to my door and the motion sensor light of the neighbors all of a sudden turned on and it was a dude with out his shirt on standing there with no teeth smiling as big as he possibly could and he said.."HI!" What the fuuuuuh. Don't worry dude, I won't nearly shit my pants because you are standing here with out a blouse at 3am smiling at me with no teeth being all creeper status. He constantly had people coming in and out in and out..being loud as fudge. We have a 2 car garage and I obv get one side he gets the other. Well when old lady lived there she parked right in the middle...cuz she was like 95 er somethin and didn't catch the concept of parking on one side. So they lowered my rent and we called it good since I couldn't use the garage. Once new neighbors came it was just kind of a given that I would get my spot back. Nope. Duder parked both his vehicals in the garage. Along with all his buddies parking in the entire driveway and on the street so sometimes I wouldn't even have a place to park when I would get home from work..ON THE ROAD. When old lady lived downstairs I still used the garage as storage. Well dude started piling all his shit on top of my shit....while using both spaces. Upon talking to the landlord he moved one vehical out..but still has all his shit stacked on mine. I thought maybe he just figured that was his side of the garage since he just took it over...so I moved my stuff to the other side of the garage. To find out he would just stack stuff on my stuff on that side too. WTF! One evening he was having quite the gathering. In the basement. My upstairs reeked like cigs which I was NOT happy about. I am a mild smoker..so it's not like I care about cig smoke..but I freaking care if my house smells of it..the house that my kids live in smells of it! I went down to the basement to find a table set up with cig butts everywhere...and they were using my plastic storage bins as chairs...they turned them upside down and they were all bent inwards. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not cool man. Talked to the landlord about that as well. So the trillions of humans coming in and out came to a stop. Now its just every once and awhile he has visitors but still..they are all whack jobs of the nation. Weird as hell. I mean I know I am weird..but this is a diff kind of weird. Anyways. The other night Cody, I and the kids were sitting around eating dinner at the table. I hear a ridiculous pounding at my door...like holy shit what the hell. So I run to the front door cuz I didn't know what was going on and it was the daughter. (Her name is Mary Jane btw just sayin). She gives me this snotty attitude.."ummm can I borrow a stick of butter?" For one..are you planning on fucking giving it back? Didn't think so. So I just said sure and ran upstairs got her a damn stick of butter (shit ain't cheap). She just grabs it doesn't say thanks or anything. What the hell! Next day, I was walking out to my car and dude comes out, walks up to me and asks for my WIFI internet password. He doesn't want to have to pay for internet so he was just wondering if he could use mine. WTF!?!?!??!?!?! Oh sure so then mine can go slower cuz you will be using it downstairs too. Oh my lanta I'd love to share my WIFI with you!!!!!!! NOT. Get a grip on reality dude cuz you are whack as shit man. I thought that was like...the last straw of the last straws. Nope. Last night....dude turned his house into a dance club. Must have brought his subwoofer from his car into his house. YAY! Cody and I tried watching a movie last night..couldn't even hear it. BOOM BOOM BA BOOM BOOM BA BA BA BOOM BOOM. What in the fuuuh. Shaking my floor man and vibrating my couch! ALL NIGHT LONG. This morning...STILL GOING. Round 12:30pm dude switches from rap to techno. OH HAIL NO. I called my landlord and she said it was the last complaint and he was getting his final eviction notice..but she was going to call me back in a half hour. She never freaking did! The ba ba boom boom ba boom boom shit is still going on! Cody was going crazy and he didn't want to go back to his place with the kids because it was pouring rain out. This guy seriously just is a dumbass!!! Has no common sense what so ever at all. If it is still going on when I get home at 3 this morning I am going to freak and go knock on his door. Which is what I wanted to do when it first started but damnit anyways!! I hate even being put in the position to have to do that stuff!!!!! Ugh so frustrating!!!!!!!

*A resident tonight told me that I have the smallest boobs he has ever seen. Saweeeeeeeeet! My boobs are pretty darn small. No doubt about that. I don't even wear a bra anymore dude. I haven't for probably 3 months now. I will if I need to in a shirt so that it isn't ridiculously obvious when I'm a bit "chilled". But other then that..forget it. No reason to. Any bra I wear is just dumb anyways cuz it doesn't fit right. So meh. Whateves. Yay for smallest boobs a dude has ever seen when he is in his 80's and has 80 years of looking at totties! woot woot! P.S. Maybe too much information but pre-kids I had my nips pierced and I had to take them out so that my kids could suck the life out of them..and I'm really considering getting them redone even tho it hurt like the dickins and took forever to heal. Just saying.

*So a couple days ago I was more constipated then I ever have been in my life I think.  My stomach was seriously rock hard and I looked like I was 15 weeks pregnant lol. Took me awhile to figure out why I was bloated as hell and feeling like death. Oooohh yeah I haven't pooped in freaking prit near 20 days. I had that issue a lot when I was pregnant and breastfeeding so lucky for me I had some Miralax in my cupboard of medicinal goodies. Obv opted to wait til Cody came over after work cuz whenever I take Miralax I get the farts like a madman and Cody loves every minute of it. I was so constipated that I didn't even get the farts. I. didn't. even. get. the. farts. Thought for sure I would wake up in the middle of the night feelin somethin or another but nope. Come morning time my stomach was a little gurgly and I felt somethin brewin but not really. Willy came over cuz he was watchin the kids when I went to work and he brought me a Caribou Coffee drink...with 3 extra shots of espresso. The last time I got ONE extra espresso shot in my caribou drink..I got the shits. So 3 extra shots of espresso! I was for SURE gonna take care of this constipation issue. Well...bad news guys. Caribou drink and Miralax decided to work at the same time, and let me tell you something. It felt like I lost 15 pounds no joke. Am I being gross right now? Are you disgusted reading this? #sorrybutnotsorryatall <-- I love when people hashtag this on instagram. Just saying.

*So, me and Rich (dude I work with) were just talking about relationships. He is in a relationship with a man right now, but was married to a woman for quite a number of years. I am bisexual as well, so we have very interesting conversations about the difference between being with same sex vs opposite sex. It is interesting to hear his point of view on things since we have completely different viewpoints being as we are of opposite gender. I don't really have particulars right this second, but I would like to elaborate more on this topic someday. I am feeling rushed because it is almost time to leave work and I hate leaving a blog half done because then I don't finish it for weeeeeeeks! So I guess I'll just leave it at this bullet and finish elaborating next time.