First off, 2 weeks ago I had breakfast with my dad. These breakfasts usually consist of us throwing ideas back and forth to each other about how we feel about life in general, our particular lives, or just random ass shit. After discussing with him some of the issues I've been having it was quite clear that I am spending way too much of my time dwelling on the past and spending way too much of my time trying to make decisions. He said that it is absolutely irrelevant to dwell on the past..because that is all it is, is the past. I disagreed to a degree because if you didn't dwell on things that happened in your past, how are you supposed to learn from your experiences? I mean technically 2 minutes ago was the past. Things happen in your life and sometimes you have to allow yourself time to reflect on them and gain from them everything you possibly can. BOOM, I'm okay with that. It would be impossible for me to go from dwelling major to dwelling not at all. So with that being said:
*Note to self: It is OKAY to dwell on things for the mere reason to benefit completely from the circumstances at hand. It is NOT okay to dwell if you are just battling with what you should or could have done to make things different.
As far as the decision making thing? BAAAAA, save me. I have always been really indecisive. It is a rather annoying attribute of mine. At first it just seemed like an annoying girl thing, that I could never make up my mind. Then I thought that perhaps I just cared too much about what people thought so I was having troubles making up my mind because what other people would think was always in the back of my head. Now I just realize both of those are invalid and I take the littlest of decisions and biggest of decisions and try to envision the effect each will have in future time. LAME! All of the above are lame actually. Anyways, I need to take a step back from this and just kind of find the stem of it. Maybe I am so indecisive because I realize that any and every decision you make matters, and since I dwell so fucking much on the past, I just have a hard time deciding what I am going to be dwelling on in the future LOL. Kidding. Sort of. Fack. It's something I'm working on alright? It is just a little crazy to think that every decision you make impacts the rest of your days. You can't ever go back and change that decision. If you make the wrong one, it can be considered a mistake. But thereafter, if you make that same decision again it just becomes a choice. I think a lot of times I make decisions based on not what I feel is best for me, but what is easiest and less harming for others. Very frustrating.
^ That was all written a couple weeks ago er somethin. I dunno. I will write and then not finish and save it. Then take forever to come back on here and finish it. Ohhh the things I do I tell you! I think I might just babble right now. So, Axton was in his big boy underwear all weekend! It was a pretty successful weekend minus of course a few accidents here and there. When he wakes up in the morning he doesn't want anything to do with his underwear..he says NO I WANT DIAPER. Then I tell him big boys wear underwear and then of course he says how he's a big boy and wants underwear. He also doesn't think he can poop anywhere but in a diaper. So that has been fun. Anyway, enough of the potty training talk..I'm just saying that my little buddy is getting big and soon will be completely diaper free. YIPPEEEE! Two kids in diapers isn't exactly my....ideal situation. Zaidyn is so damn spunky I just can't believe it. That girl holy buckets. She just sprouts everyday, and I love every minute of it. She is really into lions right now and carries one around with her and roars constantly. If Axton starts playing with any of her 3 lions, she goes up to him and points in the other direction and yells GO!! Very sternly..which is seriously...way too damn cute. She looooves to give hugs and will just walk up to me grab my leg and say Momma and hug my leg. So cute! Tell her to dance, and she dances, tell her to sing and she babbles, tell her its time to change her diaper and she runs to her room and stands by the changing table, tell her it's time to eat and she stands next to her high chair. Just way too damn cute that girl!!!!!!!!!!! She will literally come up to me and say Momma Ni night when she is ready for a nap. I just can't believe how fast time has gone by...my kids are getting so big what the heck!!!!!!!!!!
On that note, my life is just so crazy busy. I feel like I don't even have time to stinking balance my checkbook, or check my mail pile that gets bigger by the day. I need to sweep and mop my kitchen but how the suzanna am I supposed to do that with 2 hooligans running around all the time? Seriously!!! Kids are so much work!!!! Not that any of you don't know that because I'm pretty positive majority of people that read my blog are mothers. Regardless, I'm just saying. That is why I could never do a daycare as a job. Props to my sis because I just could not do it. I can take care of my own kids..babysit once and awhile..but to do that for a job..nooooo way. That takes some serious patience, physical energy, and emotional energy. Holy buckets. Anyway, I'm gonna buzz outta this joint :)
^ That was all written a couple weeks ago er somethin. I dunno. I will write and then not finish and save it. Then take forever to come back on here and finish it. Ohhh the things I do I tell you! I think I might just babble right now. So, Axton was in his big boy underwear all weekend! It was a pretty successful weekend minus of course a few accidents here and there. When he wakes up in the morning he doesn't want anything to do with his underwear..he says NO I WANT DIAPER. Then I tell him big boys wear underwear and then of course he says how he's a big boy and wants underwear. He also doesn't think he can poop anywhere but in a diaper. So that has been fun. Anyway, enough of the potty training talk..I'm just saying that my little buddy is getting big and soon will be completely diaper free. YIPPEEEE! Two kids in diapers isn't exactly my....ideal situation. Zaidyn is so damn spunky I just can't believe it. That girl holy buckets. She just sprouts everyday, and I love every minute of it. She is really into lions right now and carries one around with her and roars constantly. If Axton starts playing with any of her 3 lions, she goes up to him and points in the other direction and yells GO!! Very sternly..which is seriously...way too damn cute. She looooves to give hugs and will just walk up to me grab my leg and say Momma and hug my leg. So cute! Tell her to dance, and she dances, tell her to sing and she babbles, tell her its time to change her diaper and she runs to her room and stands by the changing table, tell her it's time to eat and she stands next to her high chair. Just way too damn cute that girl!!!!!!!!!!! She will literally come up to me and say Momma Ni night when she is ready for a nap. I just can't believe how fast time has gone by...my kids are getting so big what the heck!!!!!!!!!!
On that note, my life is just so crazy busy. I feel like I don't even have time to stinking balance my checkbook, or check my mail pile that gets bigger by the day. I need to sweep and mop my kitchen but how the suzanna am I supposed to do that with 2 hooligans running around all the time? Seriously!!! Kids are so much work!!!! Not that any of you don't know that because I'm pretty positive majority of people that read my blog are mothers. Regardless, I'm just saying. That is why I could never do a daycare as a job. Props to my sis because I just could not do it. I can take care of my own kids..babysit once and awhile..but to do that for a job..nooooo way. That takes some serious patience, physical energy, and emotional energy. Holy buckets. Anyway, I'm gonna buzz outta this joint :)
No comments:
Post a Comment