Well what in tarnation!

I am extremely bored at work this evening and thought it would be a rather swell idea to whip up a blog post. We have these dumb things called silverchair learning that we are required to do..(they are these dumb test things about work related dilly dallies) but I don't want to fucking do them. So I'm not going to. I've been on strike for over a monthish now. What gives? They are dumb as hell..and the only reason they require us to do them is so it looks good for state. So you are telling me I have to spend an hour taking multiple choice tests about common sense shit that you should probably know to be a human..so it looks good for state? Forget about it. Not my style.

For one I would just like to state that I have 1.3753 million pimples on my forehead right now. YES. JACKPOT. My birth control hates me. Like, for real hates me. I want to get on something that isn't hormone based like an IUD but upon research it just seems like it's kind of a 50/50 gamble. They either are freaking awesome for people, or royally suck anus and women have major complications. Well newsflash of the century my luck is -3743474 level..so I'm not too positive I want to chance it. No periods tho on them bad boys that is enough to make ya want to chance it nah mean?

Anyhoot hoots. I just have to say that just now there was an alarm going off on one of the residents. A usual resident that wakes up during the night to use the restroom. No big deal right? Well...jokes on me cuz this said resident decided to poop everywhere. Not a big deal, it's a usual thing I deal with on a daily basis. But let me just say this....if I had to choose between cleaning up major poop mess on a man or a woman..I would choose woman. One reason. Balls. That is all.

I don't understand why this said computer screen that I am currently looking at has to be approx 2 inches from my face. It is for real. It is a dino computer so it is prob 2 feet long in the back and takes up this whole damn table...so the keyboard is like..right at the end of the table and monitor right behind it meaning that it is right in my face. WABAM. I guess that will do er on that topic.

I am DYING to get more ink. It has been too long my friends. Too long. I have been trying to save but...yeah right. I am up to my ears in bills and just keeping up is the death of me. I am in the process of consilidating my student loans to ease that burden a tad...but I don't know. Cody wants to move back in together since my lease is up soon but what the h man??? I don't really want the reason to move back in together to be because it will be easier on me financially. NOT the reason I am looking for. Also, I love living separately? I tell him this often since he tells me often how much he hates living separately. What gives? I love having my own place and not having someone to "look after/pick up after" besides my kids. This topic needs  A LOT more thought. I mean... A LOT.

Okay so whenever I get forwards on my phone I think they are the dumbest shit of my life. I just don't find many things funny. Jokes, movies etc. I think other people are funny and some texts and what not in casual conversation. But not purposely posed funny things, nah mean? Anyway, got a forward today and it actually made me laugh out loud folks. Not fake, lol...we are talkin..real L.O. motha fuckin L. Fine I'll tell you it.
* A mother was cooking in the kitchen listening to her five year old son play with his new electric train set. She heard the train stop and her son say, "All of you sons of bitches who want off get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on get your asses on the train right now cuz we are goin down the mother fuckin tracks!" The absolutely horrified mother went in and told her son, "We do NOT use that kind of language in this house now go to your room for TWO HOURS. When you come out you may play with your train..but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the mother heard her son say, "All you passengers who are getting off please remember your things." He continued. "Those of you boarding we hope you will have a pleasant trip with us." The mother smiled to herself. The child then added, "Those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen!" <--- Bahahaha. For real LOL status right?

One of my favorite residents passed away last night while I was at work. But I'm not ready to talk about that yet. Maybe in a couple days or something.

There is an old guy right now sitting next to me in his wheelchair. He couldn't sleep. He is seriously cute as a button. He wanted some snacks and good thing I always bring a whole god damn grocery store with me to work cuz I love munchin on goodies. So first he ate a chocolate donut. Then he ate a swiss cake roll. He wanted more. So then I offered him sour gummy worms, which he had never heard of. I told him it would give him a little zip in his zinger and make his mouth water like the dickins. So of course, being as I gave him some serious convincing words to base this trial of sour gummy worms off of, he popped one in his mouth. His face...priceless! He said and I quote, "Now what in the hell was that!?" I think it is safe to say I really give these residents a run for their money sometimes. What would they do with out me here? They call me the patch adams of the place. I don't mind. Anyway, I'm gonna end this right here cuz old man river here wants to indulge in some wheelchair races.