Life as 4

Well, I've managed to find some time to write a post and update on how things are going/the transition from 1 to 2 kids. The first week when Cody was home, it went a lot smoother then it is going now with just me home during the day. Cody could keep Axton busy and have him feel like he wasn't getting any less attention. Now that Cody is back at work, Axton is really starting to act out due to the fact that I am constantly taking care of Zaidyn. Anytime I start nursing her, or changing her..he does something he KNOWS he is not supposed to just to get me to rectify the situation. I mean seriously, he will look right at me as he is doing whichever naughty thing he decides to do. It is getting a little frustrating but I have to keep telling myself that it is also an adjustment for him. It just gets a little much having to stop nursing Zaidyn, put her down just so I can discipline Axton for something he already knows he isn't supposed to do. Then I wonder if I am actually making things worse because he clearly knows that by acting out while I am nursing or busy with Zaidyn, he can get me to put her down to give him the attention he is clearly trying to get. When Zaidyn is napping during the day, I make sure to spend the extra time with Axton so he doesn't feel so left out...but the amount of time a day I spend nursing Zaidyn is just so much that regardless he is going to feel a lack of love from me and it is just saddening :(. I am still a little intimidated by the thought of going out and about with the two kids. My mom came with me to bring Axton to the park to get him outside. He really liked that. I will enjoy when I can do that myself so it can happen more often but right now 99% of my day consists of nursing so...if I'm at the park..and she wants to nurse..what is Axton going to do? I certainly can not chase Axton around a playground with Zaidyn attached to my boob. I have a sling that I have used with her multiple times but I'm not exactly sure how to breastfeed while using it although I guess there is a way. Still, don't think I'd be able to assist him in climbing the playground, going down the slide etc with a baby attached to my boob. I need to get some lessons on how to be super mom. Anyway, Zaidyn is a great baby. She is super super easy just like Axton was. She hardly ever EVER cries unless I take too long to get to her to feed her when she is hungry if I am in the middle of something. It is nice to have a newborn that doesn't have their days and nights mixed up like Axton did. She usually gets up twice during the night to nurse for half hour or so and then she goes back to sleep. Occasionally she will want to have a 7 course meal lasting 2 hours in the middle of the night which is a little rough for me to keep alive for. It is a lot different not being able to just nap when she naps. Today, however, I got to take my first nap during the day since she came home from the hospital. Whenever Axton goes down for a nap seems to be when she will wake up...or she will wake up 15 minutes after I lay down. Cody has been a great help around the house. He will get home from work and after dinner he will clean up the kitchen and also takes full responsibility of getting Axton ready at night for bed and such. I don't even have to ask him which is the best part. At first I had to constantly ask for his help (which he was happy to help but I always had to direct him) but then I told him that it just makes me feel really bossy to constantly be like.."will you do this, and this and this?" So now that we have a nightly routine, he is just great. Axton has really gotten more attached to him since he has been the one at night giving him a bath and getting him ready for bed etc. I think Axton would prefer him over me now..not sure how I feel about that but it makes me really happy to see Axton and Cody so much closer now. They have always been close..but Axton was always really really attached to me and now he's really really attached to Cody. All in all, things are going great! I can't imagine my little Zaidyn not in my life, and I am just so glad she is finally here. I feel blessed to have 2 wonderful children and a fiance that I love so very much.