Well, the heartburn has returned, full throttle. In the last couple weeks I would get it here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary because I've always had heartburn problems. With Axton I had such bad heartburn that I would have to sleep sitting up sometimes. I wanted to accomplish some cleaning today but my heartburn is soo bad and the tums don't seem to be cutting it. Every time I bend over it's like insta-esophagus 10x worse fire. I can't deal.
Early tomorrow morning I have a doctors appointment. First I'll have the visit with him and then I get my gestational diabetes blood work done. Boooo! I have been dreading it just because I already know what the outcome is going to be. My last appointment they did a sugar screen with my urine and the sugar level at normal is 0..and mine was 100. I did have a pancake for breakfast..but if a pancake with a little syrup on it will make my level that much higher..I'm pretty sure a jacked up orange sugar drink after fasting will probably do the saaaaaaame thing. I do NOT want to be on a strict diet and I do NOT want to have to do insulin shots. I guess if I had to choose I would do the insulin shots just because I am not good with limitations, or someone telling me what I can or can't do/eat. Regardless of that whole situation, I am glad I finally get to meet with my doctor and ask a bunch of questions about this whole placenta previa business. I'm assuming we'll schedule the next ultrasound in the next 2 weeks to see its movement/no movement. It would be mighty swell if it decides to fix itself, it would relieve a lot of worry and what if's from this girls mind. I just do not want a C-section. Cody and I talk here and there about my birthing plan but obviously nothing has been set just because it might just be set for us. I went all natural with Axton, which was one of my greatest accomplishments ever. I would love love love to go all natural again with Zaidyn, but it is a little more of a mind fuck going into it the second time around. When I think of the worst pain I've ever been in my life..it was definitely giving birth, so knowing I could avoid that is so tempting. Watching documentaries and reading a lot on the internet about all natural births is really inspiring and I've been trying really hard to get in that mind set again. They say that when you go all natural, once your baby is born you get/feel a rush of hormones/adrenaline that you don't if you get an epidural. "a natural high". Well fuck, I don't remember feeling that. I remember after Axton was born me saying over and over again, my fucking vagina hurts. As far as the natural high, burst of energy etc. etc..I'm not sure I follow that business. I was tired as hell and just glad it was over with. So why do I want to go natural again?? Because I swear when I'm involved with anything medically..it always ends up being in the worst case scenario category. There are risks with epidurals and of course tons and tons of women get those on a regular basis. But my luck, I would get the spinal drip problem and back issues forever and ever. And I'm being so serious. I honestly think I'm going to die by being struck by lightening. Because that is how fucked my luck is. I live each day by positive thinking, and it really does work! When it comes to medical stuff...definitely not the case. I've just become a debbie downer about it all but it's just something right after another. Maybe soon I should consider putting my extra energy into changing my attitude about that stuff. But for today...debbie downer it is.
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