Shwing Batta Batta Batta

Title = Not necessary for survival. Just couldn't think of anything else. I am such a slacker sometimes. I mean, now I am back at work..am in front of a computer daily, and still hardly ever write. Naughty Caitlin! Anyways, let me update you on my life. This may be a lengthy blog so if you object..then stop stinkin reading right about...now. I love listing things so I'm just going to do that.

1. I am back at work now. It is a nice change...but I sure as heck would rather be with my bubbas. I miss him so much and think about him all day long at work. I bring my camera to work so I can go through all my pictures, which essentially makes me miss him more so I really should refrain. When 4pm rolls around, I can not get to my Mom's house fast enough to see him! A week from today he starts going to an actual Day Care instead of being with Grandma. (Yes, I got a spot in the day care I really wanted!)

2. My breastfeeding is coming to an abrupt halt. I object. Let me elaborate before just saying that I LOVE breastfeeding because that just sounds weird. At the hospital after Axton was born...breastfeeding was torture. The day he entered into the world he didn't even eat. He just had no interest in eating what so ever. When he did want to eat, he would not latch to save my life. It was a battle..and my nipples were getting the bad end of the deal. It. Hurt. So. Bad. Honestly. The nurse would come into the room and say, time to feed him -(Very adamant about feeding him every 2 hours)- and I would be like, NOOOO!!!!!!!!! My nipples were like battle fields and it honestly wouldn't have felt any different to me if you would have just taken a chainsaw to them and cut them off. I was still having trouble with him latching and the nurses introduced me to a nipple shield. Once I started using that, he learned to latch on correctly. One word of advice- if breastfeeding hurts insanely bad...its just because the baby isn't latching right. Once the baby learns to latch correctly, you don't feel a thing and this is the truth. So do not give up!!!! Even if you desperately want to, it gets better, and your nipples learn to deal with it and you don't feel it anymore! I was strictly breastfeeding up until about 3 months, and then I had to start supplementing with formula. (Also, Axton learned to latch correctly with out a nipple shield on easter!) At first I didn't really care that I had to supplement with formula. I think I needed a mental break from breastfeeding. To me it seemed like it would be easier to just make a bottle so then other people besides just me could feed him. But I learned quickly that that was much more of a pain in the rear. Axton started eating more and my body wasn't keeping up. I was trying everything that I could but it just was producing the same and he just kept wanting more. I started panicking because it was then that I realized how much I cherish my time with Axton when I get to breastfeed him. Its special. <-- Lame statement from lame-o but so true. If I could go back and change something, it would be that I would have never started supplementing with formula and I would have tried harder to have my body produce enough milk for him. Its just been downhill since then. He's just eating more, and I'm even more behind. And now that I am back at work its even worse!!! When I first came to work I started pumping..in a room labeled "the barn" thanks to my fellow co-workers. That didn't last very long because obviously a pump doesn't work as well as your stinkin baby. Anyways, now Axton has formula during the day and when I pick him up until when I drop him off he breastfeeds. I don't know why this bothers me so much but it does. If I think back to when he was first born, my body was making A HECK OF a lot more milk then he needed. I wish I would have taken the time to pump to build up a frozen supply when I actually had the milk...no matter how tired I was instead of opting to wake up with a completely soaked shirt instead of just pumping. I mean, when my milk first came in my tots were the size of kick balls. Literally. Note to self for second baby: PUMP AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE IN THE BEGINNING! BETTER TO HAVE MORE THAN NOT ENOUGH!

3. I am 22 and have sag bag stretch marked tots. (refrain from your jealousy, I beg of you) This seems unreasonable. Granted, as said before, I love breastfeeding and wouldn't change it for the world. BUT, due to this, I have to now lift my small boobs into the correct area of a shirt. Gag me. Conversation between Cody and I:
Caitlin: "Gosh, I can't believe that I have saggy boobs. I mean, I am only 22!"
Cody: "You do not have saggy boobs for crying out loud"
Caitlin: "You don't have to lie, I can see them just as well as you can"
Cody: "Well, they aren't THAT bad"
Awesome. Just awesome. At least he doesn't care. That's why I love him so much, very accepting no matter how ugly my boobs are now, and no matter how stretch marked my boobs/stomach are. As much as I act like I care about how much my body has changed since having a baby, it really doesn't bother me because I would take tots down to the ground, stretch marks on my face, and be 600 pounds if it meant still having Axton. All Worth it.

4. We are moving in a week and I can not wait. Honestly. My small apartment is killing me. Killing.

5. Summertime = massive amount of freckles. Hello freckles, nice to see you.. its been awhile.

6. I was told by my hairdresser that after Axton was born there would be a point in which my hair would start massively shedding. Well, I've unfortunately been dealing with that the past 2 weeks. I really do think I've lost 50% of my hair. It is disgusting. One of the most irritating things I have had to deal with in my life thus far. Not joking. I take a shower, and after I wash my hair it looks like I am wearing a fur coat. Its so sick. Okay body, I realize hormones are trying to get back to normal..but honestly...its not necessary to make me shed SO MUCH. My hair is everywhere. You should see my pillow case. You should see the bathroom floor. All floors in fact. You should see my brush. <-- lie because I don't even brush my hair due to the fact that I am afraid it would all come out. I find my hair in Axton's clean and dirty diapers, I find my hair wrapped around his pacifiers, I find my hair in the keyboard on the computer, in the refrigerator, in the kitchen sink, on door knobs, in my buttcrack, in my water bottles, in my dinner, wrapped around my fork, wrapped around Axton's neck...ITS NEVER ENDING. I am at the point where I seriously want to buzz it off. Heck, I could have made a damn wig if I would have known it would be this extreme. Now I know how trees feel in the fall.

Alright, all for now. Adios until next time fellow humans.