Shwing Batta Batta Batta

Title = Not necessary for survival. Just couldn't think of anything else. I am such a slacker sometimes. I mean, now I am back at work..am in front of a computer daily, and still hardly ever write. Naughty Caitlin! Anyways, let me update you on my life. This may be a lengthy blog so if you object..then stop stinkin reading right about...now. I love listing things so I'm just going to do that.

1. I am back at work now. It is a nice change...but I sure as heck would rather be with my bubbas. I miss him so much and think about him all day long at work. I bring my camera to work so I can go through all my pictures, which essentially makes me miss him more so I really should refrain. When 4pm rolls around, I can not get to my Mom's house fast enough to see him! A week from today he starts going to an actual Day Care instead of being with Grandma. (Yes, I got a spot in the day care I really wanted!)

2. My breastfeeding is coming to an abrupt halt. I object. Let me elaborate before just saying that I LOVE breastfeeding because that just sounds weird. At the hospital after Axton was born...breastfeeding was torture. The day he entered into the world he didn't even eat. He just had no interest in eating what so ever. When he did want to eat, he would not latch to save my life. It was a battle..and my nipples were getting the bad end of the deal. It. Hurt. So. Bad. Honestly. The nurse would come into the room and say, time to feed him -(Very adamant about feeding him every 2 hours)- and I would be like, NOOOO!!!!!!!!! My nipples were like battle fields and it honestly wouldn't have felt any different to me if you would have just taken a chainsaw to them and cut them off. I was still having trouble with him latching and the nurses introduced me to a nipple shield. Once I started using that, he learned to latch on correctly. One word of advice- if breastfeeding hurts insanely bad...its just because the baby isn't latching right. Once the baby learns to latch correctly, you don't feel a thing and this is the truth. So do not give up!!!! Even if you desperately want to, it gets better, and your nipples learn to deal with it and you don't feel it anymore! I was strictly breastfeeding up until about 3 months, and then I had to start supplementing with formula. (Also, Axton learned to latch correctly with out a nipple shield on easter!) At first I didn't really care that I had to supplement with formula. I think I needed a mental break from breastfeeding. To me it seemed like it would be easier to just make a bottle so then other people besides just me could feed him. But I learned quickly that that was much more of a pain in the rear. Axton started eating more and my body wasn't keeping up. I was trying everything that I could but it just was producing the same and he just kept wanting more. I started panicking because it was then that I realized how much I cherish my time with Axton when I get to breastfeed him. Its special. <-- Lame statement from lame-o but so true. If I could go back and change something, it would be that I would have never started supplementing with formula and I would have tried harder to have my body produce enough milk for him. Its just been downhill since then. He's just eating more, and I'm even more behind. And now that I am back at work its even worse!!! When I first came to work I started pumping..in a room labeled "the barn" thanks to my fellow co-workers. That didn't last very long because obviously a pump doesn't work as well as your stinkin baby. Anyways, now Axton has formula during the day and when I pick him up until when I drop him off he breastfeeds. I don't know why this bothers me so much but it does. If I think back to when he was first born, my body was making A HECK OF a lot more milk then he needed. I wish I would have taken the time to pump to build up a frozen supply when I actually had the milk...no matter how tired I was instead of opting to wake up with a completely soaked shirt instead of just pumping. I mean, when my milk first came in my tots were the size of kick balls. Literally. Note to self for second baby: PUMP AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE IN THE BEGINNING! BETTER TO HAVE MORE THAN NOT ENOUGH!

3. I am 22 and have sag bag stretch marked tots. (refrain from your jealousy, I beg of you) This seems unreasonable. Granted, as said before, I love breastfeeding and wouldn't change it for the world. BUT, due to this, I have to now lift my small boobs into the correct area of a shirt. Gag me. Conversation between Cody and I:
Caitlin: "Gosh, I can't believe that I have saggy boobs. I mean, I am only 22!"
Cody: "You do not have saggy boobs for crying out loud"
Caitlin: "You don't have to lie, I can see them just as well as you can"
Cody: "Well, they aren't THAT bad"
Awesome. Just awesome. At least he doesn't care. That's why I love him so much, very accepting no matter how ugly my boobs are now, and no matter how stretch marked my boobs/stomach are. As much as I act like I care about how much my body has changed since having a baby, it really doesn't bother me because I would take tots down to the ground, stretch marks on my face, and be 600 pounds if it meant still having Axton. All Worth it.

4. We are moving in a week and I can not wait. Honestly. My small apartment is killing me. Killing.

5. Summertime = massive amount of freckles. Hello freckles, nice to see you.. its been awhile.

6. I was told by my hairdresser that after Axton was born there would be a point in which my hair would start massively shedding. Well, I've unfortunately been dealing with that the past 2 weeks. I really do think I've lost 50% of my hair. It is disgusting. One of the most irritating things I have had to deal with in my life thus far. Not joking. I take a shower, and after I wash my hair it looks like I am wearing a fur coat. Its so sick. Okay body, I realize hormones are trying to get back to normal..but honestly...its not necessary to make me shed SO MUCH. My hair is everywhere. You should see my pillow case. You should see the bathroom floor. All floors in fact. You should see my brush. <-- lie because I don't even brush my hair due to the fact that I am afraid it would all come out. I find my hair in Axton's clean and dirty diapers, I find my hair wrapped around his pacifiers, I find my hair in the keyboard on the computer, in the refrigerator, in the kitchen sink, on door knobs, in my buttcrack, in my water bottles, in my dinner, wrapped around my fork, wrapped around Axton's neck...ITS NEVER ENDING. I am at the point where I seriously want to buzz it off. Heck, I could have made a damn wig if I would have known it would be this extreme. Now I know how trees feel in the fall.

Alright, all for now. Adios until next time fellow humans.

Day Care

Sooooo the dreadful day care search began this week. It is something I have been dreading, really. My mom is watching Axton for the month of May, which is REALLY nice. But I have been on a search for a daycare starting June 1st. I start work next week and my stomach has been in knots all week long. I know that next week I will be so emotionally and physically exhausted. I'm not used to getting up early and I'm definitely not used to being away from Axton. Both will be very hard to get used to. Sooo...originally Cody and I had discussed that we wanted Axton to be in a more "family" day care, which is someone having a day care at their home. Yesterday I went to go meet a lady who held a day care at her house. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her...but when I left I just didn't get that..."YES! I WOULD TOTALLY FEEL COMFORTABLE LEAVING AXTON THERE!" feeling. Cody thought I was over reacting because like I said..there was NOTHING wrong with that lady. He said that no matter who or where it was I wouldn't be happy about it since I dream daily about being a stay at home Mom. For some reason I just felt like I WOULD get that "yes!" feeling. Kind of like trying on a wedding dress. When you have "the one" on..you cry because its so right. I thought thats what it would be like with the day care..or at least I was hoping. All in home family day cares in the Menomonie area are filled...so basically it was this lady, or group day care. I did a lot of thinking yesterday and I decided that it wouldn't hurt to at least go view some day cares. I didn't want to just settle, especially with something this important. Today I went to go view the daycare called Monkey Business. SUCH a nice place. I've actually had my eyes on it for awhile because I just thought it looked like such a nice place. I called this morning to get a tour and asked if they had an availability in the infant class. They did. They said that they very very rarely have openings but they have one for June 1st which is EXACTLY when I needed it for. I had a really good feeling about this place. I walked in and was greeted by such a wonderfully kind man. Him and his wife own the day care. They are a Christian facility and he said right from the get go that he believes that children are a gift from God and they facilitate that in the children's learnings everyday. He gave me a tour and I was in love. Literally. Everything about that place was absolutely PERFECT. Everybody LOVED Axton and everyone was sooooooooooooooooo nice!!! They have the cutest little old lady there that cooks all the meals for the children. Too bad Axton doesn't get to eat that stuff yet because she was baking homemade blueberry muffins and cooking up some stroganoff for lunch as well as homemade squeezed lemonade!!!!! (Sorry Axton, you'll have to deal with milk for now). Anyways, I was so so so so pleased with this place. I got the "YES THIS IS THE PLACE ITS SO PERFECT OH MY GOSH" feeling. Definitely. I was sold. I even started crying like a little baby because I just was so happy that I found a place I was so comfortable with and would totally love Axton to be a part of their "family" as they said. He went through all the paperwork with me and told me what I needed to fill out. My heart was instantly broken when he told me that to ensure the spot for June first I needed to pay the registration fees for the summer and fall and the first week of care. 240 dollars. I knew how much the rate was per week which is 180..which is also what every other day care in Menomonie is. Daycare expensive? UM YES! I would pay a million dollars for this place to watch Axton though..it would be worth every penny. The problem is that I have been on maternity leave for the last 3 and a half months so money isn't exactly....pouring out of my pockets. We are moving June 1st so we had to pay 765 for security deposit on that place as well as my class starting June 7th which was 380. I start work on Monday so I will have a check on next friday, but he needs the paperwork by early next week :( :( :( :(. I have to talk to Cody when he gets home tonight so we can try to figure something out. I will be so devastated if Axton doesn't get to go to this day care. Everything happens for a reason, (just like this sudden opening in this day care!)and I am just praying that Cody and I can figure something out financially so that I can be a happy Mommy and Axton can be a happy wonderfully cared for baby come June 1st.

English Language

You know, they always say that the English language is the hardest to learn. I think that is quite logical considering we name things like this:

I don't know about you but if I was trying to learn English and I came across a beverage named Dr. Pepper I would be very apprehensive to try it. Who thought of that name anyways? Dr? PEPPER?

LOL

I've decided that I hate "lol". I mean, I use it occasionally, but I just think its so dumb. 98% of the time that people text/type lol...they aren't actually laughing out loud. It is completely and most utterly overused. If someone says something funny, its just habit to say, lol...I've been recently trying to go with the whole "haha" thing..which is working quite well, but lol still gets whipped out here and there. I have a feeling lol will be around for awhile. Stupid person who invented lol. Why can't it be changed to tisf. That Is So Funny. Much better than LAUGHING OUT LOUD which is actually a lie most of the time.
Next subject. Mice. I heard on TV yesterday that a mouse can swim for 3 days straight until it gets too tired and dies. 3 DAYS! Now that is a long time to have those little whippin snappin legs of theirs going about.

Look at this little guy and imagine him swimming for 3 days straight. Amazing. Disgusting, but amazing.
Cody and I found our new apartment! Well, its actually a duplex. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT! I can't wait to move. I mean I can because I HATE packing. Unpacking is groovy because I like putting things away in their new spots and what not..but still. Considering I only have 10 days left of maternity leave..packing and unpacking and moving and all that jazz will be a tad stressful to deal with. Our place is 3 bedrooms 2 full bathrooms, 2 car garage and even has its OWN laundry room with a brand new washer and dryer. I just can't wait.

Brown to the ies

Honestly, Aldi has the BEST BEST BEST brownies. I'm not joking either. I tried them and oh my gosh, so delicious. Then I tried Betty Crockers "America's Favorite Brownie" <-- what a bunch of bogus. Doesn't even come close. I recommend everyone to try these. I included an awesome picture of the box of brownies so you can find them easier knowing what they look like. If you notice on the box it says New Look Same Great Taste! The look of the NEW box is actually rather boring. The one before was much better. I'm not complaining as long as the brownie is still in service. And yes, I am hiding behind the brownie box. Big whoop.

As far as the new blog title, I was getting sick of my old one. I get sick of the look of my blog quite frequently and have to change that often as well. I wanted a new blog title and couldn't think of ANYTHING. Frozen lemons will have to do for now until I think of something more permanent.

Boring

Ugh, I'm so boring. I never blog anymore. Even when I say that I am going to blog more, I never do. Such a sad sad situation. I want to blog more to keep track of everything going on in my life so I don't forget later. Its easier said then done. Let me think of things I can update on. Well, Cody and I are looking to move in a month or so. We need to move closer to Eau Claire since I got accepted to go to school there in the fall :) Yay! Axton is getting SO big. 3 months old already, I can't believe it! Cody and I realized that it just might be awhile til we can have another baby. We want our kids to be close together, but the timing right now just sucks. We could either start trying in September/October..so that I would be due right after I am done with school...therefore I could apply for jobs pertaining to my new degree after my "maternity leave". Otherwise, if we waited until after I was done with school..essentially that would mean we would have to wait until like a YEAR after I am done with school because I don't want to be applying for a new job WHILE being pregnant or getting pregnant shortly after finding a new job. This would mean Axton and baby #2 would be around 3 years apart! I am not diggin the whole 3 years apart business. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to do a lot of thinking about the whole situation. I don't want to wait that long to have another baby, but thinking of being pregnant again in October almost makes me nervous!! I wish I enjoyed talking on the phone so I could call my friends in Waukesha and catch up. I feel so distant from them..well I guess that is because I am. But I just wish I knew a lot more of what is going on in their lives than I do. But I hate talking on the phone. That gets me pretty much no where. Something really absurd is this: Axton can not sit still for more than 15 minutes at a time without making noises, pooping his pants, getting hungry, or wanting his nuk. The ONLY time he can sit still and not make a peep is when he is watching baseball with Cody. He LITERALLY can sit through an ENTIRE baseball game and just stare at the tv. The commercials are pushing his attention span a little bit...but the second baseball comes back on his eyes are glued. No idea if that is some sort of sign that he is going to love baseball or if he just likes all the colors.

Chocolate Anyone?

-I am obsessed with chocolate. I didn't like it much before I was pregnant and now I can not get enough. Honestly. Brownie Batter Blizzards at Dairy Queen are TO DIE FOR. They aren't on the menu mind you, but they are there. Trust me.
-I should be sleeping right now since Axton just went back to sleep but I can't. I am thinking about far too much. Fine I'll show you some examples:
**I am hungry and don't know what to eat**Someone is coming today at 4:00 to view our apartment. I have to clean before then. My clothes are everywhere with boxes everywhere because I have been changing out my closest from winter to summer and from maternity to still chunky/baggy summer shirts I can pull off**I NEED to do something new with my hair desperately, but I can't think of what**Still in the searching process of finding a new apartment by June 1st. Pretty sure we are moving to Menomonie since it would just make sense considering we both will be driving to Eau Claire everyday. Just for a year though, then I want to relocate back this way.

OK I'm so tired now, must get sleep.