Yes! Yes! Yes!

I am ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can hardly believe it! My life couldn't get any better, honestly. I am soooooooo happy! I shall tell you the story of our engagement :)

It was August 20th, about 10 pm..and I was sitting on the computer dilly dallying around. Axton was in his crib sleeping. It is impossible for me to go to sleep until I have gone and checked on Axton at least 10 times before I can comfortably sleep knowing he's alright. I know, he's 7 months old, and I STILL check on him a million times before I go to bed..AND during the night! He sleeps through the night, but my motherly instinct just won't let me wake up during the night and NOT walk in his room and check. Cody gives me a lot of grief for this, and finds it rather humorous. Cody can't fall asleep at night unless I'm in bed next to him..so when I'm dilly dallying on the computer forever when he wants to go to sleep, he will come into the computer room and pester me until I say, "FINE I'LL GO TO BED!" For some reason, that night he wasn't getting after me..which I did find rather peculiar but I wasn't about to say something about it. After awhile, I get off the computer, walk into Axton's room for the 9th time that evening probably..and there was Axton in his crib playing with a ring. Axton has a night light in his room, but it was still kind of dark. I had to squint a couple times to see if what I was even seeing was real. -----Back tracking a little bit now...I have to tell you that on Friday's Cody works both of his jobs. He works at bloomer ford from 8 to 12 and then from 2 to 7:30 he works as a tire technician at Sam's Club. I really hate Fridays because it seems like forever until I see him. I begged and begged and convinced him to come home after working at Bloomer, and before going to work at Sam's Club. So he came home, I made him lunch, and then off he went to Sam's Club. When I got home that evening, I made dinner, and anxiously awaited his arrival home. When he got home, his breath smelled like beer. I was like, why does your breath smell like beer if you just got home from work? He's like, ooooooh I had a really rough day so I had to get a beer at the gas station before I came home. Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Wait a second, you mean to tell me you drank while you were driving home? What the hell? He's like, it was a rough day! I couldn't believe it...so then I was like that is the dumbest thing you could ever do, blah blah blah etc. So....back to the story. As I was squinting and realizing that Axton was playing with a gorgeous, not just any kind of ring in a ring box...I look behind me and there is Cody on one knee asking me if I would marry him. Awwwwwwww :) :) Gives me chills just thinking about it. Instead of me saying Yes right away, I said are you serious about 12 times..and then I said, wait! You didn't go to work this afternoon! Followed by, You didn't drink that beer in your car did you!!!!!!!! And THEN I said...OF COURSE I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so cute because he was sooooo nervous, and shaking. Which is just funny because as if I would have said No!!! Anyways, that is the story of our engagement. I am very excited, and absolutely love my new bling on my finger! As far as setting a date and planning? We aren't really set on anything. I am almost 100% sure that we want a destination wedding...as far as where we still have to figure that out. And most likely it will be in Feb of 2012. I will keep you updated on my decision making I'm sure!!!
P.S.
Axton is 7 months old and just the cutest stinkin little boy in the world for real! Here is a picture of him at 7 months.


Not Really sure why but looking at him from behind just melts my heart because he's just so precious. I love his fuzzy head!

PUMP

Okay I just want to say that I am completely and most utterly disgusted by gas pumps. If I wouldn't look like such a freak, I would wear gloves every time I pump gas. While being pregnant, I became a huge germ freak, and it just has carried with me even after being pregnant. The thing that bothers me the most though, by far, is the stinkin gas pump handle. I can guarantee that no one ever sanitizes that thing, and think about how many people touch it in a day! GROSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Butch

Soooo, yesterday I took Axton to the clinic. He kept grabbing his ears and that is a sign that he might have an ear infection. I just wanted to be sure so I brought him in to the doctor, just to find out that Axton purely discovered his ears and likes to grab them. This is not the point of my post today. The point of my post today is to share with you the experience I had while at the clinic.

Where: Glenwood City Red Cedar Medical Clinic
When: July 6th, 2010 2:30pm
Why: Stated above

I am sitting on the chair waiting for my name to be called. I am playing with Axton and Axton is making very funny/cute noises. This very VERY manly woman is sitting across from me. She has spiked, bleached at the tip, hair. She is wearing very long baggy shorts. Very XXXL T-shirt. She starts talking to Axton. "Hi there!" "Hiii!" Axton is smiling back at her and making noises along with the smiles. She asks me what his name is, and I tell her. She tells me he is the cutest baby she has ever seen and she just LOVES his name. (I TOTALLY agree with both!) The nurse comes to the door and says "Axton Kahl" I proceed to stand up, grab all the millions of things you have to carry when bringing a baby anywhere, and walk towards the door. This lady/man follows me. MMkay. She hands me a slip of paper. MMkay. I look at it..and it is her phone number. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I almost shit my pants. I didn't even know how to react. I just said, "oh thanks" So I walk back to the room and the doctor walks in. (I am very close with my doctor and talk to him about EVERYTHING) I say to him, do you know what just effing happened to me? A very manly woman gave me her number! I said, Do I look like a lesbian today? Am I kind of giving off that vibe today? Since I have my baby with me doesn't that mean I had sex with a man? Meaning I like men? He could not stop laughing at me. He says, I need to see this for myself. He proceeds to walk out to the waiting room to catch a glimpse which I just could NOT believe he did. He comes back in the room and says..."A true gem you have there, I'd give her a call" LOL! I just love my doctor. Anyways, I said to him..you have to find me a different way to leave the clinic because I just cannot go back out there and chance her still being here. I just do not know what I would even say, oh my gosh I'm so embarrassed. He told me my cheeks were bright red. He says, there is a back door that the employees go in and out of. I can sneak you out that. OF COURSE I took him up on his offer. As I walk out the door, I can see at the main entrance she is standing there. So I hide behind the wall so she couldn't see me. I see her putting her cig out and walking back inside. Woo! Safe! I start walking to my car and once I get there I put Axton in and see out of the corner of my eye that she is walking towards me. I literally started shaking viscously. I was thinking to myself, WHAT THE HELL! Oh my gosh oh my gosh what do I do what do I do. She says, hey so are you gonna give me a call? (<-- okay what the eff? Who does that?) I honestly had NO idea what to say. So I said..Umm...probably not. She says, well my name is Dawn and I am pretty confident in the fact that I can show you a good time. (<-- Okay what the eff? Who does that? I have my SON with me who is a BABY) I said, I honestly don't really know what to say besides that I am not a lesbian. She says, "are you sure?" WHAT THE EFF. Am I sure? Am I sure that I like men? Yes I am sure I like men lady, what the hell. Do I really look like that much of a lesbian that she would have to question me saying I like men? At this point I am hyper ventilating and I just want her to GO. AWAY. I sat in my seat and I said, I have to go BYE! I can't stop thinking about it. I just don't understand. I went to my Moms after the clinic and I told her the story and she goes, "well, you do kind of look like a lesbian today" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to say............I LIKE MEN! In fact, I LOVE MEN! I love MY man! I love my man to pieces and I do NOT wish he was a woman!

Axton!

My Bubbas!!! I started feeding him cereal and he loves it!

Greetings!

Its been awhile since I have written and for this I apologize. Being a Mom is hard work and takes up all the time in a day plus more! I'm sorry but I'm just going to have to do the list thing. I just take forever to write so then I have so many random things to say.

-Axton is getting SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO big!! I love watching him grow everyday and learn new things everyday!

-I am laid off. Which is fine. I get to spend more time with Axton. Cody works two jobs...I hardly ever see him...but if it wasn't for him working two jobs we would be screwed right now.

-I am FINALLY wearing my old clothes. I feel like a whole new person! I am used to wearing a total of 5 shirts and 2 pairs of pants. Having an entire closet full of clothes makes a girl feel RREEEEEEEEEEEEAL good. I never thought I would ever get back to my pre pregnancy weight, but it proved to be possible. And I didn't even have to do anything. This also means my boobs are back to pre-pregnancy size...which when they are as big as kick balls during pregnancy and after baby is born, its hard to beleive they ever get back to normal! (This also means pre-preg nip size which is relieving........................ enough said)

-I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE our new place! It has so much more room. SO much more room. I looooooooooooove it. It has a third room for baby #2. Not that I can even think about baby number 2 right now. One is hard enough, I can't imagine two! Cody on the other hand wants to start trying for baby #2....4 months ago. Heck, a day after Axton was born. I told him he has to wait until Axton is at LEAST 9 months old.

-I am getting so excited to meet my niece or nephew!!! My sister is getting larger. Not only does it make me extremely miss being pregnant, but its just SO weird to think there is a baby in there that will come out and I'll love so much! Dexter or Ayda come out come out wherever you are! Just joking, you need to keep growing for a bit longer!

-Any suggestions how to make time at the end of the day to make dinner, clean up the kitchen, etc etc with baby? Wait, what I meant to say was: any suggestions on how to make time TO DO ANYTHING!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!! You may be thinking to yourself, you are laid off. You have plenty of time to do stuff. Well you couldn't be more wrong person thinking that.

-Dear Stretch Marks on my Stomach, I EFFING HATE YOU. One piece swimsuit here I come.

-I feel like my new full time job is washing bottles. I'm never not having to wash bottles. Again I say to anyone having a baby anytime soon....BREASTFEED AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE FORMULA/BOTTLES SUCKS WORSE THAN ANYTHING!

Shwing Batta Batta Batta

Title = Not necessary for survival. Just couldn't think of anything else. I am such a slacker sometimes. I mean, now I am back at work..am in front of a computer daily, and still hardly ever write. Naughty Caitlin! Anyways, let me update you on my life. This may be a lengthy blog so if you object..then stop stinkin reading right about...now. I love listing things so I'm just going to do that.

1. I am back at work now. It is a nice change...but I sure as heck would rather be with my bubbas. I miss him so much and think about him all day long at work. I bring my camera to work so I can go through all my pictures, which essentially makes me miss him more so I really should refrain. When 4pm rolls around, I can not get to my Mom's house fast enough to see him! A week from today he starts going to an actual Day Care instead of being with Grandma. (Yes, I got a spot in the day care I really wanted!)

2. My breastfeeding is coming to an abrupt halt. I object. Let me elaborate before just saying that I LOVE breastfeeding because that just sounds weird. At the hospital after Axton was born...breastfeeding was torture. The day he entered into the world he didn't even eat. He just had no interest in eating what so ever. When he did want to eat, he would not latch to save my life. It was a battle..and my nipples were getting the bad end of the deal. It. Hurt. So. Bad. Honestly. The nurse would come into the room and say, time to feed him -(Very adamant about feeding him every 2 hours)- and I would be like, NOOOO!!!!!!!!! My nipples were like battle fields and it honestly wouldn't have felt any different to me if you would have just taken a chainsaw to them and cut them off. I was still having trouble with him latching and the nurses introduced me to a nipple shield. Once I started using that, he learned to latch on correctly. One word of advice- if breastfeeding hurts insanely bad...its just because the baby isn't latching right. Once the baby learns to latch correctly, you don't feel a thing and this is the truth. So do not give up!!!! Even if you desperately want to, it gets better, and your nipples learn to deal with it and you don't feel it anymore! I was strictly breastfeeding up until about 3 months, and then I had to start supplementing with formula. (Also, Axton learned to latch correctly with out a nipple shield on easter!) At first I didn't really care that I had to supplement with formula. I think I needed a mental break from breastfeeding. To me it seemed like it would be easier to just make a bottle so then other people besides just me could feed him. But I learned quickly that that was much more of a pain in the rear. Axton started eating more and my body wasn't keeping up. I was trying everything that I could but it just was producing the same and he just kept wanting more. I started panicking because it was then that I realized how much I cherish my time with Axton when I get to breastfeed him. Its special. <-- Lame statement from lame-o but so true. If I could go back and change something, it would be that I would have never started supplementing with formula and I would have tried harder to have my body produce enough milk for him. Its just been downhill since then. He's just eating more, and I'm even more behind. And now that I am back at work its even worse!!! When I first came to work I started pumping..in a room labeled "the barn" thanks to my fellow co-workers. That didn't last very long because obviously a pump doesn't work as well as your stinkin baby. Anyways, now Axton has formula during the day and when I pick him up until when I drop him off he breastfeeds. I don't know why this bothers me so much but it does. If I think back to when he was first born, my body was making A HECK OF a lot more milk then he needed. I wish I would have taken the time to pump to build up a frozen supply when I actually had the milk...no matter how tired I was instead of opting to wake up with a completely soaked shirt instead of just pumping. I mean, when my milk first came in my tots were the size of kick balls. Literally. Note to self for second baby: PUMP AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE IN THE BEGINNING! BETTER TO HAVE MORE THAN NOT ENOUGH!

3. I am 22 and have sag bag stretch marked tots. (refrain from your jealousy, I beg of you) This seems unreasonable. Granted, as said before, I love breastfeeding and wouldn't change it for the world. BUT, due to this, I have to now lift my small boobs into the correct area of a shirt. Gag me. Conversation between Cody and I:
Caitlin: "Gosh, I can't believe that I have saggy boobs. I mean, I am only 22!"
Cody: "You do not have saggy boobs for crying out loud"
Caitlin: "You don't have to lie, I can see them just as well as you can"
Cody: "Well, they aren't THAT bad"
Awesome. Just awesome. At least he doesn't care. That's why I love him so much, very accepting no matter how ugly my boobs are now, and no matter how stretch marked my boobs/stomach are. As much as I act like I care about how much my body has changed since having a baby, it really doesn't bother me because I would take tots down to the ground, stretch marks on my face, and be 600 pounds if it meant still having Axton. All Worth it.

4. We are moving in a week and I can not wait. Honestly. My small apartment is killing me. Killing.

5. Summertime = massive amount of freckles. Hello freckles, nice to see you.. its been awhile.

6. I was told by my hairdresser that after Axton was born there would be a point in which my hair would start massively shedding. Well, I've unfortunately been dealing with that the past 2 weeks. I really do think I've lost 50% of my hair. It is disgusting. One of the most irritating things I have had to deal with in my life thus far. Not joking. I take a shower, and after I wash my hair it looks like I am wearing a fur coat. Its so sick. Okay body, I realize hormones are trying to get back to normal..but honestly...its not necessary to make me shed SO MUCH. My hair is everywhere. You should see my pillow case. You should see the bathroom floor. All floors in fact. You should see my brush. <-- lie because I don't even brush my hair due to the fact that I am afraid it would all come out. I find my hair in Axton's clean and dirty diapers, I find my hair wrapped around his pacifiers, I find my hair in the keyboard on the computer, in the refrigerator, in the kitchen sink, on door knobs, in my buttcrack, in my water bottles, in my dinner, wrapped around my fork, wrapped around Axton's neck...ITS NEVER ENDING. I am at the point where I seriously want to buzz it off. Heck, I could have made a damn wig if I would have known it would be this extreme. Now I know how trees feel in the fall.

Alright, all for now. Adios until next time fellow humans.

Day Care

Sooooo the dreadful day care search began this week. It is something I have been dreading, really. My mom is watching Axton for the month of May, which is REALLY nice. But I have been on a search for a daycare starting June 1st. I start work next week and my stomach has been in knots all week long. I know that next week I will be so emotionally and physically exhausted. I'm not used to getting up early and I'm definitely not used to being away from Axton. Both will be very hard to get used to. Sooo...originally Cody and I had discussed that we wanted Axton to be in a more "family" day care, which is someone having a day care at their home. Yesterday I went to go meet a lady who held a day care at her house. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her...but when I left I just didn't get that..."YES! I WOULD TOTALLY FEEL COMFORTABLE LEAVING AXTON THERE!" feeling. Cody thought I was over reacting because like I said..there was NOTHING wrong with that lady. He said that no matter who or where it was I wouldn't be happy about it since I dream daily about being a stay at home Mom. For some reason I just felt like I WOULD get that "yes!" feeling. Kind of like trying on a wedding dress. When you have "the one" on..you cry because its so right. I thought thats what it would be like with the day care..or at least I was hoping. All in home family day cares in the Menomonie area are filled...so basically it was this lady, or group day care. I did a lot of thinking yesterday and I decided that it wouldn't hurt to at least go view some day cares. I didn't want to just settle, especially with something this important. Today I went to go view the daycare called Monkey Business. SUCH a nice place. I've actually had my eyes on it for awhile because I just thought it looked like such a nice place. I called this morning to get a tour and asked if they had an availability in the infant class. They did. They said that they very very rarely have openings but they have one for June 1st which is EXACTLY when I needed it for. I had a really good feeling about this place. I walked in and was greeted by such a wonderfully kind man. Him and his wife own the day care. They are a Christian facility and he said right from the get go that he believes that children are a gift from God and they facilitate that in the children's learnings everyday. He gave me a tour and I was in love. Literally. Everything about that place was absolutely PERFECT. Everybody LOVED Axton and everyone was sooooooooooooooooo nice!!! They have the cutest little old lady there that cooks all the meals for the children. Too bad Axton doesn't get to eat that stuff yet because she was baking homemade blueberry muffins and cooking up some stroganoff for lunch as well as homemade squeezed lemonade!!!!! (Sorry Axton, you'll have to deal with milk for now). Anyways, I was so so so so pleased with this place. I got the "YES THIS IS THE PLACE ITS SO PERFECT OH MY GOSH" feeling. Definitely. I was sold. I even started crying like a little baby because I just was so happy that I found a place I was so comfortable with and would totally love Axton to be a part of their "family" as they said. He went through all the paperwork with me and told me what I needed to fill out. My heart was instantly broken when he told me that to ensure the spot for June first I needed to pay the registration fees for the summer and fall and the first week of care. 240 dollars. I knew how much the rate was per week which is 180..which is also what every other day care in Menomonie is. Daycare expensive? UM YES! I would pay a million dollars for this place to watch Axton though..it would be worth every penny. The problem is that I have been on maternity leave for the last 3 and a half months so money isn't exactly....pouring out of my pockets. We are moving June 1st so we had to pay 765 for security deposit on that place as well as my class starting June 7th which was 380. I start work on Monday so I will have a check on next friday, but he needs the paperwork by early next week :( :( :( :(. I have to talk to Cody when he gets home tonight so we can try to figure something out. I will be so devastated if Axton doesn't get to go to this day care. Everything happens for a reason, (just like this sudden opening in this day care!)and I am just praying that Cody and I can figure something out financially so that I can be a happy Mommy and Axton can be a happy wonderfully cared for baby come June 1st.